Question: My eleven year old granddaughter cheats. If she is losing a game, any game, she begins cheating and if cheating doesn’t help her win she quits. If I say anything she lies and says she didn’t cheat. What do you have to say about this?
Higgins: People who cheat do so because they are insecure. Losing and failing are helpful tools when approached positively. Your granddaughter needs help developing personal confidence. She also needs to learn to find solutions. Then, when faced with losing she can consider more positive approaches, more creative solutions, thus expanding her potential. Remember that loss creates desire and desire is the creative spark that stimulates positive growth and expansion. Growth and expansion are important aspects of happiness and fulfillment. In reality, losing or failing at a thing creates the possibility for greater happiness.
For your granddaughter winning and being first is important. This is a magnificent quality in athletes and leaders. As with any spiritual gift the expression of it can become overwhelming when the person exhibiting the trait is out of center.
Help your granddaughter find her center by teaching her to balance. Show her how to center by directing her energetic flow from head to foot. Ask her to notice how she feels before and after centering. She will want to center because she will feel more powerful centered. From her center, she will think better and be flustered less often thus leading to fewer opportunities to need to cheat.
The next aspect is to help her find solutions. All of you must learn to find solutions. There is a solution to every problem any of you will ever encounter. These solutions are opportunities although they often look like work to begin with. Learn to find one or more solutions. One of these will feel like a best option. Take action towards that best option. Notice how doing so creates a feeling of power within. You want to help her find the solution that leads to a feeling of power inside her, rather than feelings of powerlessness. Feeling powerless leads to cheating. Feeling powerful creates personal confidence and great leaders.
Received December 29, 2013 at Lake Goodwin, Washington USA