Compassion in Marriage (Part 9): Live in a Place of Compassion

Note: This is part 9 (and the final part) of Higgins’ response to a question.  Only a portion of the letter is presented here for brevity. The aspect of the question that Higgins is responding to today is bolded.


So now that I have stepped back and have taken a look at my own habits and have begun to change them, I find it a challenge to be in my husband’s company. He has the outlook that he is not appreciated, that he works too hard for no reward, and he doesn’t have a vision for his future. He always seems to have a reason why something can’t be done. I hear these words leave his mouth daily and when I try to explain to him that we shape our reality, he doesn’t hear it, and I think he doesn’t want to. I think he wants to hold onto being a victim, and I am not in that place anymore. The more I pull away from my husband (because I don’t know what else to do), the more sullen and angry he becomes, blaming me for his loneliness and unhappiness. I intend for my children to see the truth and live in a place of compassion. With their father as an example of the opposite, I’m not sure what to do.

Higgins: Now that you have gained some clarity on what it means to be physical it is natural to want to share your clarity with others. Your intent for your children to ‘see the truth’ is a very beautiful desire. Nonetheless, we wish to remind you that you and none other creates in your reality and your children (and none other) create in their respective realities. So if they wish to discover what is Truth for them they will. Your ‘job’ is to live as an example of living in Truth to stir within them a desire to live in theirs. Your ‘job’ is to embody compassion in such a profound way that you stir in them the desire to be compassion also.

You state next, ‘With their father as an example of the opposite,…’. We are certain that you will be happier, your children will be happier and certainly your husband will be happier, if your desire for him, too, is to find his Truth. Surely you do not truly wish for him to live his life as an example of the opposite. In fact, it seems your entire focus and reason for contacting us with your question is because you do not like being around your husband as he expresses that negative aspect of himself.

What we suggest you do is remind yourself regularly that each of you, every single one of you humans, is a magnificent creation. Each of you is an eternal being of loveliness. You are kind, warm, generous and loving. Any expression of negativity simply exemplifies the difficulty of the task of living in your physical realm and does not at all represent the Truth of any of you.

It will be much easier for you to feel compassion for your husband (and yourself) when you remember that. When your everyday responses come from compassion your thoughts, words, and actions will become gentler and you will slip more easily into alignment with your desires.

Received May 6, 2012 at Lake Goodwin, Washington

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1 Response to Compassion in Marriage (Part 9): Live in a Place of Compassion

  1. lunerunit says:

    The information just keeps coming. Again, I must say I feel blessed to have crossed paths with you Cheryl. Thank you Higgins!

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