Offering from Higgins relative to an internet search for, ‘My wife doesn’t like me’, that brought a reader to our site.
Higgins: When faced with a situation like this one, one in which another is offering a vibration of negativity directed towards you, the most obvious and simple solution is to move your physical self away from the negativity.
Each of you is programmed to want to feel good so this is a quick and easy solution to get yourself back into a vibrational place that feels good.
There are myriad reasons, though, that a person would choose to stay within this negative feeling relationship. Should you choose to stay you have two options: find a way to feel better or keep feeling bad. Feeling bad leads to all sorts of negative life expression including ill-health so we strongly recommend finding a way to feel better.
The first process to master is centering yourself each time you feel negativity arising within you. When thinking about your wife’s displeasure of you, center yourself. Each time you feel that ugly negativity oozing from your wife, center yourself.
Centering can be accomplished by simply stating, “I want my energy to stay with me.” Thus your energy will flow within you rather than being given to your wife, who needs to develop her own flow of energy rather than feeding off of your energy.
You will immediately feel a little stronger. When your energy stays within you it takes only a matter of 30-60 seconds before energy is restored and you feel better. Then state, “I want my energy to flow in harmony with my happiest Truth.”
You now have regained control of your own energy and beseeched the Universe to assist you in flowing towards whatever is happy and right for you whether or not you even know what happy and right for you is.
This is a very important step, this regaining of energetic stability, because you now have a palpably greater sense of stability and power. From a centered energetic point you are never a victim and neither your wife or any other can treat you like one when you are stable this way. They may say the same things, they may shoot the same negative energy but your response is steady, strong in self, gently and kindly powerful and you are not affected by another’s negativity the same way as before. Instead you are steady, strong, confident, gentle and possessing a kind and healing sense of humor.
If you feel any sort of negativity you are not centered. Period. Re-center yourself as often as necessary…and that may be hundreds of times a day at the onset.
Once practicing this energetic stability you are in a better emotional space from which to decide whether this relationship with your wife is one you wish to continue. If it is we recommend this simple daily practice: think of one thing that you genuinely like about your wife. Think of one thing about her that you truly appreciate and do it every day for the remainder of your marriage.
These two practices will be all you need to begin drawing from her the things you have always liked in her. Your relationship will improve with no effort on your part other than the effort required to remind oneself to center regularly and to think up something nice about your wife.
There is no need to do work to please your wife and since no amount of effort on your part could ever please a person who is generally displeased this is a good thing.
The next step is to create harmony in your home and you can do that by simply doing one chore a day with the intent to create harmony in your household. You may do a hundred chores a day but do at least one with intent to create harmony. It may be that the dishwasher needs to be unloaded. You don’t want to do it but you know that neither does she. Do it. See a scrap of paper on the floor that shouldn’t be? If it bugs you it will bug her, too, and that is how you know which of that day’s ‘chores’ is the one that will intentionally create the harmony you seek.
So that’s it, Friends, the way to a happy and harmonious relationship.
Received September 3, 2012 at Lake Goodwin, Washington