Question: Regarding your post of January 21, 2015, Mothers for Safe Driving, I assume the reason people work against drunk drivers is that drunk drivers often are to blame for vehicular deaths. I assume that these people think they ARE working against the opposite of the thing they don’t want. Can you clarify how to determine opposites?
Higgins: Yes. Always work towards the desired goal. When something happens that you do not want to happen, view this as data. Use the data to determine what you do want, then work towards the goal of what you do want.
Using Mother’s Against Drunk Driving (MADD) as an example…
MADD was formed because a child was killed. A driver was drunk. It is an easily drawn conclusion to think the child would be alive were it not for the intoxicated driver. Therefore, eradicate intoxicated drivers to make your child safe.
This simply does not work. Events that occur between two people are always for both, events are both/and rather than either/or.
A child dies, any person dies, because they are not aligned with life. Period. There are myriad reasons for dis-aligning with life. There is no point in digging into the reasons why. What is important is to discover what you do want from the data offered.
In this case, MADD has decided they want their children, all children, to be safe from drunk drivers. What they really mean is, they want their children to be safe. In this statement we now have a workable goal. The next step is to determine what ‘safe’ means.
Safe can mean alive. Safe can also mean mentally and physically healthy, well nourished both spiritually and physically, surrounded by supportive friends and family in an environment of prosperity and good-will with visions of their own vibrant future accenting their mental landscape. The first definition is what a person is before they’re dead. The second definition is what is desired.
The next step is to re-direct MADD to be Mothers for Children and Adults Who Are Mentally and Physically Healthy, Well Nourished Both Spiritually and Physically, Surrounded by Supportive Friends and Family in an Environment of Prosperity and Good-Will with Visions of Their Own Vibrant Future Accenting Their Mental Landscape.
With this goal in mind, one works towards safety from a different, more holistic angle. That is how opposites work. View what is not wanted as data. Determine from that data the feeling tone of the desirable outcome. Work towards that.
Received March 4, 2015