As I proof read Ask Higgins Volume Two for the final time I found this very helpful post:

Offering from Higgins:

Nothing your spouse does or doesn’t do is about you. Everything your spouse does or doesn’t do is about your spouse. The way you respond to what your spouse does or doesn’t do is about you.

Let’s say you want your spouse to help with more of the around the house chores. Is this about him or you? It’s about you. If you choose to be a victim then you can be angry about the perceptions you hold regarding your spouse’s perceived unwillingness to do those household chores. But if you are a master creator of your life experience…then what?

A master creator would know that there is a solution, a beautiful solution, to every problem. Therefore, there are no problems only beautiful solutions and the master creator will enthusiastically begin sifting through ideas regarding possible solutions. Some solutions will be more immediately practical than others but there will be myriad solutions to any problem given thought and time.

The best part of this solution brainstorming is that (given thought and time) it will lead you inexorably to discover the very best of yourself, to uncover your strengths, talents, spiritual gifts and yes, your true purpose in life.

Remember, Friends, victims suffer in difficult times. In those same difficult times, master creators make huge, huge steps forward in creating blessed lives of pleasure and positive abundance.

Received November 13, 2011 at Lake Goodwin, Washington