Meditation, November 15, 2020

As is becoming my habit, I sat for a bit last night before bed as well as again this morning. Last night was unremarkable other than that they spent most of the fifteen minutes making small circles with my head which caused a pressure to develop in a specific spot in my brain. When I look up parts of the brain this morning, the area is the frontal lobe, the portion of the brain that controls speaking, thinking, memory and movement. Notably, it was a very specific spot within the frontal lobe, on top of my head and not far enough back on my head to be any section of the brain than the frontal lobe.

This morning, I did not set a timer and allowed myself to sit with them as long as they wanted. At first they sat with me in a way that is so boring to me when they do this that my mind tends to wander and I wonder whether they are even there. However, they were there because each time my mind wandered off they moved my head. They either made small circles with my head or moved my head side to side, like a belly dancing head slide. Each time they moved my head it brought my attention back from wherever I had drifted to.

After many such interventions I was able to keep my mind blank and once I was able to keep my mind clear, something sat down in me. I was sitting in my chair and whatever it is sat right down inside my body. It felt sort of heavy in a way I am unable to describe. If ‘we’ did anything together other than sit I cannot recall it. Eventually, I got chilled and decided to get up and turn on a little space heater I keep nearby. But I couldn’t get up. I was paralyzed in that way they did the first time they came to me years ago. It felt nice and not at all scary but I could not move. Soon though, my husband got up and began moving about the house and then he/it/they let me up.

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