This is my entry for December 5, 2004:

This morning I awoke and lay in bed with my eyes closed. As I lay still, a green eye came clearly into view. It startled me. A nose came with it and appeared to be wolf. (Not a wolf, the essence of wolf.) Last night, I prayed again for my power totem to appear. I thought, “Oh darn. It’s wolf.” I wanted a leopard but wolf is good.

(Note: Can you imagine my rudeness? Wolf was far too common. I wanted a leopard because of their stunning coat.)

Wolf looked around inside me, not judging, just looking at what was there. He left. By that time I decided wolf was a good totem so I said, “Welcome.” (Like you get to choose… I laugh at myself now.)

A few moments later eyes came to me one after another. I can’t remember them all and I had to guess what animal they were because most just showed their eye. Owl showed an entire head. After owl I thought bald eagle would stop but it was just an impression. No eagle. Same with bear–just an impression that bear was coming by but didn’t come in. It was as though they were on they other side of a veil.

I saw a set of eyes above water that I thought was frog. Later, I saw frog in entire profile. A whale, I don’t know what variety, rolled over so his eye peered out of the water at me. A domestic cat appeared and its face morphed into a wild cat then back to domestic and then to wild. I saw the domestic cat’s full face but just the eye of the wild cat so I don’t know what kind of cat it was. There were other animals, I think, but I can’t remember them.