Compassion in Marriage (Part 3): Developing Compassion

This offering from Higgins is part three in a series. In their last response they made the following statement:

Development of compassion is helpful in re-establishing balance in that emotional frequency that you call love.

Higgins will expand this topic today.

Offering from Higgins:

If you expect your spouse, or anyone, to always do what you wish for them to do you will be disappointed for they came forward to express who they are, not to do what pleases you. They do not want that and neither do you. It is far better for all of you to learn instead to allow others to be who they wish at the same time expressing yourself the way you wish.

You have drawn unto you understanding that inspires your life in a positive way and (from well-intentioned desire to assist your spouse) you have attempted to share this with him and he repels your effort. We encourage you to cease your attempts to share your exciting new information with him. Relax. Remember that all is well. Then try this trick for developing compassion: view your husband as a young boy, full of enthusiasm for life. Once you have that picture of him in your heart feel compassion for that young boy for whom life has been so hard. View that happy little boy turned man, struggling in a life that seems overwhelming and out of control.

With this picture of him it’s easy to see why he’s become discouraged, sullen and angry. Anger is a much stronger emotion than the emotion of depressed victim and so he jumps into anger because it feels so much better than the lower emotions that are accessible to him. Further, he cannot hear what you have to say about change for the positive because he is simply out of alignment right now with that possibility.

Can you feel some compassion for where he is in his life? If so you’ve made great progress towards relaxing back into your natural state of being that simply oozes love.

Let’s explain one more concept here: you’ve described your husband as someone who is a victim in his own life. (No one appreciates him, he works so hard, etc…) Well, victim is a very low vibration and each time you say something that brings him to anger you actually are bringing him into an emotional range that is better than the one he wanders around with most of the time, that of victim in his own life. So you might start secretly applauding him every time he gets angry because anger, for him, is a step in the right direction.

Received April 18, 2012 at Everett, Washington

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2 Responses to Compassion in Marriage (Part 3): Developing Compassion

  1. lunerunit says:

    I want to thank you Higgins and Cheryl. Your words have touched me deeply and I can already feel the change that they have initiated in my life. I will revisit this post a few more times, as well as visit your site frequently. Namaste.

    • And they’re not done yet! They really haven’t started to address the bulk of your actual questions. It’ll be a couple of days before I have time to spend with them getting these answers. Check back Sunday or Tuesday.

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