Question: I don’t know how to have fun and I associate having fun with being happy. Please respond.
Higgins: The ability to have fun is actually secondary to maintaining feelings of well-being, light-heartedness and happiness rather than the other way around. In other words, happiness provides an emotional environment that allows one to experience events as fun.
Well-being, light-heartedness and happiness are all emotions in what we will call the human Optimal Emotions Zone. These are optimal emotions because from these emotional points it is much easier (and more fun) for you physicals to create pleasing lives. If the emotions you tend to experience feel less good than these your creating will be muddied and life will be more difficult.
This must be the case for you, the asker, if you are unable to experience fun. Here is what you can do to bring your emotions into the Optimal Zone: daydream. We mean it. Dream and dream big. What is it that you want? There is no limit. As you dream practice forming thoughts in the positive. For example, if you want more time off from the work you do to simply enjoy life the real thing you want is to enjoy life. So state that to the Universe as, “I want to enjoy life.”
Stating something like, “I want to work less,” is not very effective because it focuses on the very thing you do not want–work. In this instance what you may want is, “I want to enjoy life more.”
It is a good idea, really, to begin an ongoing conversation with the Universe. Ask for help this way, “I want to enjoy life more and I want help with that. Inspire me, please.”
As you become more clear about what it is you do want you will begin to develop feelings of hope and well-being because the Universe will respond to you by providing better life experiences. It is much easier to feel good when life is good.
Hope is a Low Optimal emotion and when you feel hope then you are headed in the right direction. Keep practicing that conversation with the Universe and soon well-being will be an everyday feeling and fun will begin to spot your life. Moving up the emotional scale towards happiness will simply bring more fun things into your life and life will begin to be fun in and of itself.
The key is clarity. What do you want? State it clearly. Relax. Await impulses towards action. Act. The happier you are about the Act-tion the more fun you have.
Received June 27, 2012 at Lake Goodwin, Washington