Offering from Higgins relative to an internet search for ‘wife doesn’t like husbands friends’ that brought a reader to our site.

Higgins:     This is a difficult response to make in writing for there are so many variables as to why the friends are not liked. If the friends are abusive, if they steal from you, these are sound reasons not to like someone. We usually say that every single one of you physicals is a kind and wonderful human and any negative expression is simply a signal that you’ve become out of synch with your Eternal Truth. While this is true, understanding this does not stop a person from abusing you and if this is the case then we would not stay in this situation even for a moment. This means that even if it meant leaving the spouse we would be gone for victimization is simply too low a vibration to tolerate.

If this is not the case then something happens that makes the wife feel uncomfortable. We encourage cooperation between husband and wife to determine what particularly is not liked. For example, if his friends come over and quite a lot of work on her part is required she may become resentful. Find a solution together such as allow the husband to clean afterwards or offer simpler food. Remember, husband, that if you agree to do some cleaning or some other chore  to make this easier on her make the cleaning or the chore you do high quality. A poor job on your part negates the goodwill of the arrangement.

Another possibility is that the wife is unwilling to participate in making this situation better. Again, sift through the possible reasons she may dislike your friends. If any of the possibilities are solvable, solve them quietly and conscienciously.

In addition, we recommend some pre-thought/pre-planning on the husband’s part relative to non-verbal, non-action creating. Spend a little time each day to truly admire one thing about your wife. No action whatsoever is required on your part other than the effort it takes to think up one nice thing about your wife. Yet a nice sort of harmony will begin to develop, unseen, between you that will help her feel secure in your relationship.

These are three possibilities to help when a wife doesn’t like her husband’s friends. There are many other possible situations that are not addressed here. Should any of you feel need for greater clarity please send us questions. We are always delighted to entertain questions for there is tremendous growth within a question.

Received October 7, 2012 at Lake Goodwin, Washington