Question:     The question surrounds what to do when your husband is not compassionate.

Higgins:     The quality and happiness filling your life has nothing to do with your husband. You are the only person creating your life experience and while it is nice when others make it easy for you by behaving the way you want them to, in the end you and only you create your life.

In this instance if your husband would display compassion his compassion would  help you feel better simply because you would not have to work so hard to maintain your own energetic integrity. However, you cannot control his responses so you must control your own.

We suggest that when another does not respond the way you wish them to, consider your own part in the play. Likely you are pretending to be some kind of victim and want others to agree so you can feel better. But you are not a victim. If you are not a victim (and none ever are) then there is a solution. The solution, the answer,  is always available from within yourself and always within your power to accomplish.

If upon review of the situation you discover that your husband may have done well to exhibit compassion in that instance then the solution (again entirely within your power) is for you yourself to exhibit compassion for your husband, a beautiful, gracious, kind, loving soul who has lost his ability to feel and express compassion.

We encourage you to see this as a growth opportunity and embrace it as such.

Received December 6, 2012 at Lake Goodwin, Washington