Note: This is a lengthy question that Higgins is answering in segments. The first response was posted December 19, 2012 if you would like to read the question in its entirety.
Question: How can I help my daughter sleep through the night? I realize I cannot do this for her, but perhaps there is some insight you can shed upon her intense anxiety. Am I doing the right thing by insisting that she sleep in her own bed? Am I doing the right thing by falling asleep with her at bedtime?
Higgins: In the first segment of our response on how to help your daughter sleep through the night we suggested making a nighttime routine of exercising gently for just 10 minutes one hour before bedtime. We encourage all physicals to make this practice a habit until you depart your respective physical bodies.
Each of you is illuminated by a broader, non-physical aspect of yourself. We would not go so far as to describe you as a puppet yet without the flow of energy offered by this Broader Self you could not move or think.
This Broader you focuses energy right around your head and the energy flows towards the Earth in much the same way water flows downhill. Most of you do not understand that you are eternal beings with each their own source of illumination. A strong flow of energy is needed to feel good, safe and whole.
Throughout the Universe exists a matrix and all things flow along these lines. In a similar manner, each of you develops ties to all whom you come into contact with. Those who are primary in your life have stronger ties to you than mere acquaintances usually have.
The mother-child bond is typically extremely strong because the child is completely dependent for the first years of life. (The ties may be father-child or guardian-child.) As the child becomes confident in their place in the world around them they begin to draw more on their own energetic source and less on the parental ties.
What has happened for your daughter is that for whatever reason, likely she feels unstable in her home and/or school situation, she needs the extra energy you have been providing. When you decide you need space she will feel a distancing of that energetic bond and that creates anxiety simply because she is not drawing fully from her own energetic source.
We will insert here that you have helped create this energetic flow. As you heal emotionally and your own energy comes back into proper alignment you no longer need her energy but she still needs yours. (And by the way, healthy energetic bonds are desirable. A balanced parent-child bond is a lovely thing to nurture through the physical years. Healthy, balanced bonds allow energy to flow both ways in a sustainable, supportive manner.)
What you need to do next is help your daughter develop her own energetic flow. If she will sit with you before bedtime for a little meditation where you find a gentle way to instruct her on energetic flow and then the two of you practice together…that would be a wonderful step two. (Step one being the exercise routine.)
Another technique to practice is to envision her feeling confident. Envision her marching confidently off to bed by herself and you follow later to tuck her in and say good-night. That sort of envisioning will assist her if she is ready to grab onto that vibration.
Remember, you are creating an evening ritual that includes solid time together to exercise, read a sleepy-time book and perhaps meditate if she can. The one-on-one time will help her develop the confidence to branch out on her own. If evening time is spent in the same room but not together any energetic bolstering you offer will be weak and insufficient. We are not suggesting that every moment should be spent with your daughter. We are suggesting that you develop a 60 minute nightly routine that includes exercise, bedtime preparation, reading together time and meditative quiet time.
Bring a chair very close to the bed and sit there for the meditation rather than on the bed itself. If she needs you to fall asleep with her (as you’ve established this as a pattern) then go ahead and do that for a while.
Begin gently incorporating this evening ritual. Children readily understand things like energy flow so explain to her how energy flows and explain that she will feel stronger and better as she practices this each evening.
Again, practice this and we will offer the next step soon.
Received December 24, 2012 at Lake Goodwin, Washington