Question: My question is me and my husband divorced 2 months ago and now he’s back and he says that he still loves me but he wants to live alone to find himself. We are still married in Morocco. I’m confused by this and I need a strong commitment hand and heart should I close my door to him.
Higgins: Let’s talk for a moment about energy vampires. Vampires are said to suck the blood of their victims so they themselves can live. Energy vampires suck the energy off people so they have the needed energy to live.
There are no victims in real life. Nevertheless, there are people we describe as energy vampires who suck the energy off other people because they have not learned to draw steadily and reliably from their own energetic source. And there are people who get energy sucked away and simply do not know how to stop it.
This is happening in your case. Your husband leaves, finds he is not getting enough energy from other sources, remembers how on some level he felt better with you than he now feels without you and now wants you back.
What he is doing is setting up the opportunity to feed off your energy while not actually committing to a relationship with you.
Love is an emotion that encompasses a supportive and nurturing environment. If he claims he cannot find himself within the ‘love’ he claims to have for you then what he feels for you is not love.
We suggest that you have given all the energy that you possibly can. That is why the relationship fell apart. When the energy giver finally runs dry, the giver is exhausted and worn and the taker is empty also and must go looking for another source of energy.
In the beginning of a relationship the energy exchange is mutually supportive. Soon, the vampire begins to need more than they give. When the giver runs dry the taker leaves to find a new source. Unless and until both parties in a relationship learn to draw from their own source and then share their respective light sustainably relationships like this will eventually become unsatisfying for both parties.
From our perspective, whether you try to reconnect with your ex-husband or not is completely irrelevant relative to the broader learning that is available. Whether you reconcile with him or not you must learn to control your own energy. Every single time you feel emotionally unstable or unsure you must redirect your energy flow from head to earth. You must do it every time.
He will wonder why you feel so distant. You will feel distant to him because you will not be feeding him in the way he is used to. He will wonder what is wrong with you. He will blame you for problems in the relationship. You must stand your energetic ground. Period.
Whether you are in relationship with him or whether you let the relationship go entirely you must stand your energetic ground.
You will find yourself in this. You will find Truth about you in this. Perhaps he too will find his Truth in this but he will not find his Truth if you keep feeding him. Life is meant to be fun and to flow easily. Stabilizing your energy will improve every aspect of life for you because life happens fun and easily when your energetic flow is sure and steady.
Practice this until you understand it. Eventually your energy will be so clean and true that all your relationships will become more harmonious.
Received December 25, 2012 at Lake Goodwin, Washington