Question:     I don’t feel very kind. I know what to do to appear kind but I don’t feel kind.

Higgins:     We have stated in the past that compassion is the pathway to kindness. If compassion is the pathway to kindness what then is the pathway to compassion?

Excerpted from our post on April 7, 2012: “Compassion is an emotion in the vibrational range of love and deep appreciation and encompasses the emotion of deep understanding.”

We went on to say, “Develop compassion by directing your thoughts towards gentle understanding and acceptance of the world around you.”

Acceptance of the world around you. That is the key for you. It is not necessary to agree with anything you see or hear. It is, however, necessary for you to allow every single thing you see or hear to exist. While it may take some practice to become comfortable allowing all things to exist whether you like them or not, it is in this same practicing that you will develop emotional space for kindness to exist within.

We also acknowledge the words, “I know what to do to appear kind…”, and encourage you to appear kind even when unable to emotionally link to the kind action. We encourage this for two reasons: doing the kind thing usually feels better emotionally than doing the unkind thing (and everything you do should be directed towards you feeling better), and practicing what you want to be leads to being what you want to be. (Think of a professional dancer or ball player, they didn’t get good wishing to be good they got good with consistent and continual practice.)

Received May 7, 2013 at Lake Goodwin, Washington