It’s been a while since I posted on The Kindness Paradigm so let’s go back and review what we’re up to:

The Kindness Paradigm is based on the belief that there are certain desires ubiquitous to all mankind yet recognizes that the achievement of those desires will look different to each individual; it is a vision of a way of living in which happiness is the driving force and decisions are based on kindness; it is a vision of life in which enthusiasm for the life one leads is of paramount importance and the importance of achieving one’s individual desires is understood and supported by all.

We needed a bridge to get from where we are to where we want to go and I suggested the bridge looked like this:

Relax within your life as it is right now, with all its warts and strange beautiful things; practice allowing and accepting everything just as it is with no changes whatsoever; develop compassion for yourselves and others, knowing that the game of life is challenging and complex; from compassion, kindness will overflow; that kindness will spring forth in all sorts of ways that nurture the human spirit.

Today I wish to move on to how to become allowing and accepting.

Merriam Webster defines the word ‘accept’ several ways but the number one definition for the word accept is to receive willingly. That is the definition we will use because to achieve our goal of living life in a Kindness Paradigm we must accept willingly that which presents before us and allow it to exist.

When you allow another person to live their life as they choose without encouraging them or expecting them or even hoping for them to be or act a certain way you allow them. Allowing is a scary concept for some because it means saying yes to things you do not like, agree with or want in your life. Frankly, it means saying yes to things you do not want to exist in the world. However, the Kindness Paradigm is not about what anyone else is doing. The Kindness Paradigm is about you. It is about each individual choosing a life of kindness for themselves and simultaneously allowing every other individual the dignity to make their own choices, whatever they may be.

The way to become allowing and accepting is to practice. Practice saying yes, practice seeing beauty in the ugly things. Developing compassion will make accepting and allowing others to be as they are much easier. We will explore the development of compassion next.

Cheryl Jensen, September 1, 2013, Lake Goodwin, Washington, USA