Work has been busy and exhausting lately and the meditations are suffering for it. Higgins knew this would happen, I’m sure, and that is why they only asked for fifteen minutes a day for the first month of their return.
Each time I sit the routine is pretty much the same. They move my head in various ways which seem designed to loosen the intense grip my mind holds on my body. When they left in July, 2018 (was that the date? I think so) they said they would return and when they did they would work with me/through me while I was not conscious. I took that to mean that they would take over my mind and speak while I was not consciously aware of it.
The reason they would do that is when they speak through me while I am conscious there is some possibility that the material they are sharing will not come through with 100% accuracy. In fact, at best they have said I am 95% accurate and at worst only 60%.
If they can, in essence, use my body while the soul/ego part is out of the way, then they can share information that my own mind has no knowledge of. Therefore they have no speech tools to use as they speak through me. I suppose it would be like eliminating the middle man.
It is quite difficult for me to let go in this way. They have stated many times that I developed this intense hold purposefully. Their energy is so much higher than mine that this is a sort of defense technique so that I won’t just float out of my body and not be able to function in the Earth realm. You’ve heard the term ‘airhead’? That would be me without this powerful will to stay in my body.
Someone sent a comment asking a question I think to be apropos:
Just my perspective of ego/soul . I view ego as the human or earthly part of myself. The Head or thinking per say. The soul is the divine the heavenly part, the feeling or Heart the essence of myself.
Can you tell if or do you feel a bit scared to release or surrender either the ego or soul , because of the beings who are coming through at the time?
I’m unclear whether ego and little soul are the same thing. Certainly, there is a larger part of us which I call the Soul with a capital S. For the purposes of sharing right now, I will use ego and soul with a little s to be synonymous and to mean the the head and thinking part.
That you choose to use ‘head’ to describe it is quite intuitive on your part. That is exactly what it feels like when they shake my head. It feels like there is a ball the size of my fist inside my head. There is also what feels like a metal rod that runs from the ball down my spine. When they shake my head that ball rattles around the tiniest bit but enthusiastically holds its place. Conversely, the metal rod is quite happy to flap around. When I think about the rod it almost dissolves and then reforms when things settle down.
I’m certain that you have identified the issue. I do not overtly feel fear with these beings. I do, though, worry about getting out of my body successfully. What will be there? Where will I be? What if I just fly away and never come back? Will something fearful be there? Something horrifying that my mind cannot imagine?
I have asked Higgins for some things. Whatever we do it must not scare me, nor harm me physically, mentally, spiritually or emotionally. Although I believe on some level that they can do this, I don’t know that I am up to it. I want to be. And I can’t believe that I would set up a life plan for myself that would terrify me. What would be the point of that?
H. O. I do appreciate you asking this important question and supporting me in your quiet, steady way.
November 22, 2020
i send you blessings on your journey. M