Most nights as I go to sleep, I try to do the backward count from zero to negative twenty, hoping they will hop in as obviously as they did that one night when I felt a spark slip into my heart. They haven’t done that again, not that they haven’t been with me, they just haven’t done it that overtly.
Last night was New Year’s Eve and the fireworks in our neighborhood are over the top. They are so loud that as the concussion of sound passes through the house, I can feel it in my body. The light from them illuminates the inside of our house like a flash of lightning. My dog shakes and follows us from room to room. Even a dose of the pill that usually calms him had no effect last night. Eventually, we gave him a second pill which produced the desired soothing effect. He went to sleep so I could go to sleep. I started the backward count.
I made it to negative two before drifting into sleep.
At midnight, I awakened to chaos. My darkened room intermittently filled with light or reverberating with the shock waves of the explosion that caused the light, and my dog panting in hysteria.
There really is nothing to do in this situation except get up to watch the show, and soothe the dog, if it can be done. But I couldn’t move. Higgins had hold of me and I was paralyzed. I stayed relaxed with my eyes closed and waited to see what they would do. Would they let me up to go watch the fireworks?
Higgins didn’t let me up. Instead, as I lay quietly visions came to me, like watching something on a screen only the screen was the back of my eyelids. The background was white with silver letters, alternating with silver with white letters. They gave me a spectacular display. First, words said Thank You for 30 (something). Then a series of intricate lettering including Happy New Year followed. Streamers and ‘fireworks’ all exploded into my field of vision, all in the silver and white or white and silver theme.
I could not read most of it because it flashed by quickly but still, it was spectacular and very fun for them to provide this for me. I’m pretty sure the 30 referred to completing thirty days of gratitude. The other words went by too quickly or were too low in my field of vision to be seen fully. The silver and white fireworks with streamers were enjoyable regardless of whether or not I was able to see the whole ‘screen’.
When it was over, my mouth opened and breath left me in a whoosh. In a normal sort of way, I breathed in and my body was my own again.