Note from Cheryl:     Higgins is answering this question in parts. Read How to Help Self-Esteem published September 29, 2012 before proceeding with this response.

Question:     Hi Higgins. Do you have any advice on how to help self-esteem? Especially to attract a romantic partner?

Higgins:     The first step in elevating self-esteem is to regain energetic and emotional balance. We explained how to do that in a previous response. We encourage you to practice this. It will help you feel stronger and that is a desirable beginning.

The next step is to begin paying attention to thoughts and the way you feel with each thought.

Your Eternal Being constantly monitors thoughts, words and actions offering emotion relative to everything. This means that the moment thinking starts emotions start rolling and there goes the energetic balance you’ve only just regained.

Actively notice the emotion that each thought brings. If a thought brings negative emotion change the thought until the emotion that comes with it feels stronger. The stronger emotion produced by the new thought means the thought is true for you where negative emotion means the thought is not true for you.

For example, let’s say you’ve finished dressing and are standing in front of a mirror. Your outfit does not look as good as you thought it would and you do not like what you see. You say to yourself, “I am ugly.” A negative emotion will arise because your Broader Being does not support this thought. Search around in your mind for another thought such as, “This outfit doesn’t flatter me.” A more neutral or even slightly more positive emotion will arise because this thought is true. If you then follow-up with action and change into a more flattering outfit you will then look in the mirror and realize an uplifted heart.

Each time you are able to connect a thought to resultant negative emotion then change the thought to that which is Truth for you energetic balance is maintained.

At first almost constant attention is required to stay balanced. Each time you notice that your mind has slipped into negative thinking find energetic balance then search for the thought that is true. With practice you will discover that stopping to regain energetic balance in itself stops other thoughts thus producing a neutral mind. Searching for thoughts that are true will move your thoughts in a positive direction. If thoughts do not move positively then re-balance and begin again.

Thoughts that feel positive are true for you and thoughts that feel negative are untrue for you. You can count on this every thought, every word, every action, every time from now until then end of your days on Earth. No exceptions.

Keep in mind that stronger emotion produced by new thought means the thought is true for you. Each person has their own Truth and what is true for you may not be true for someone else. Only you knows what is right for you and you do not know what is right for anyone else (not even your children and we’ll talk about that in another segment).

Acting from this place of Truth will lead each of you on your respective journeys. You will become clear about who you are and at the same time realize that each has their own Truth that is equally beautiful, if different from yours. When you live life clearly like this you radiate an inner confidence that is very attractive. From this place of confidence friends and romantic partners will be easy to find for they will draw towards you like moths to light.

Received October 1, 2012 at Lake Goodwin, Washington