Question: I don’t feel compassion for my husband.
Higgins: Compassion is a wonder-full emotion. A heart filled with this emotion is a happy heart. The development of compassion is all about you and you living life fully and in harmony with your True Being. We encourage its cultivation.
To begin, we want you to understand that nothing is wrong with your husband. He is perfect in every way. If he exhibits behavior other than loving, kind, generous, gently humorous, fun-loving and wise then he simply reflects a life out of balance with his True Being. All of you carry these fine characteristics. Each of you also carries not so fine characteristics.
The development of compassion is all about knowing in a deep and abiding way that all humans are pure, sincere, heart beings. It is knowing that life is a difficult game and that each of you gets off-track from time to time.
Most (but not all) physicals live their entire lives significantly out of synch with their own Eternal Truth. If one is to become disaligned the disalignment from one’s Eternal Being begins about 6 months of age, sometimes earlier, and is quite marked by about 10 years old. Further significant disalignment occurs through the remainder of school age years and 20’s when socialization is occurring. This is a general rule rather than a hard rule.
Knowing the beauty of your own soul, knowing the beauty of your husband’s soul and knowing that neither of you had any control over the powers that helped disconnect you from your personal sources of eternal wisdom allows compassion to surface within you. Remember that you yourself do not manufacture emotions. Emotions are offered by your source of eternal wisdom, your Broader Being, relative to the thoughts you think, the words you speak and the actions you commit.
So when your husband exhibits behavior that is unappealing your reaction needs to be to remind yourself that he is a beautiful, wise soul on such a difficult life journey that he has begun to express the not so beautiful part of himself which he would only do if he were really struggling. Get this part: another person only exhibits negative behavior if they are really struggling with the difficulty of the Earth experience.
Developing compassion is about you reconnecting to your source of eternal wisdom. When you know for sure that hardship often leads to behavior that is out of synch with the eternal beauty that each of you is, it is much easier to relax. When you relax about anything positive emotion swells to the surface of your conscious being.
This is how one develops compassion.
Received October 2, 2012 at Lake Goodwin, Washington