One of the things I remember experiencing while awakening to Higgins was depression and anxiety. Eventually, one of the co-leaders of Sacred Circle said something that made sense. They said, “These awakenings are not just an entry in a new way of being. They are also a death to the old way of being. Maybe it is better viewed as birth, but either way, something is happening to us that we sense but don’t understand. Our society does not have words for it, or even a concept of it, and that leads to this fear and feeling alone. Had we a better way of receiving these awakenings, they would be a source of happiness and joy.” This person then likened spiritual awakenings to life transitions. Notably puberty brings changes that can be overwhelming even though we all know that puberty is an important step in becoming our full selves.
From December 29, 2004:
Yesterday and again this morning I feel very depressed. I thought I was okay with these visions and things-even excited about it-but since I can’t talk to anyone about it (Mom being the exception) I feel far away from people.
I seem to want to spend most of my time with my eyes closed. I’m certain that if I look in just the right manner, like the way one looks at a 3-D picture, I’ll see another plain.
Cheryl I needed this one today, with each change in my life, sometimes kicking and screaming through the changes until I learned that it was easier to work through the changes then to ignore them. And there are times that I have experienced this anxiety and depression when this change and new birth of something different. And I have found myself just acknowledging the depression I can let it go, one step at a time. Thanks for reminding me Erin ❤️
Kicking and screaming. Yep. That’s me, too! Funny thing, though, I wanted to be happy and peacefully accepting. I tried to be happy and peacefully accepting. Maybe it’s like this…you’re tied to the back of a pick up truck that is dragging you through the desert. It’s hard to be happy and peacefully accepting even though you are getting to see the most beautiful terrain!
There’s got to be a better metaphor, but you get the point.