Another Death Rattle

Waking up is not so unusual. I did that again this morning. I lay in bed quietly for awhile, acknowledging that I was not quite ready to get up. I knew I would not go back to sleep and I lay there in that comfy way for some time.

Perhaps fifteen or twenty minutes passed in this pleasant drowsy place when my mouth opened up and breath left me. I was completely conscious and there it was: my mouth opened and my breath went out. I breathed in again and strangely, I began to think. This is only strange because I realized before this I was lying there with no thoughts. Instead, I knew I wasn’t going back to sleep; I knew I didn’t need the bathroom quite yet; I knew I wasn’t hungry yet; I knew the dog didn’t need out.

Once my breath went out and in like that (I assume that was Higgins leaving), I began thinking. My thinking comes with words. I hadn’t noticed that before. I always think with words. While I lay in bed I was knowing without words.

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