We meditated first this time.  (24 minutes)

H:  We started with this meditation because it is relatively simple to achieve.  You all have had that same experience and know the feeling of the gentle sun kissing you in the early morning, and the delicious feel of a soft breeze caressing your skin.  It is in those delicious moments we feel so alive.  We started this meditation for those reasons and to calm you and prepare you for our conversation. 

P:  You have been talking about the emotional scale: negative to positive emotions. Last week you were telling us to jump from wherever we are to happiness and before you said we can’t just jump all the way to happiness, we have to go through the different emotions to get to happiness.  So that was a little confusing. 

H:  From the beginning, we have talked about the range of emotions that each of you is capable of feeling.  This is the shift of the ages and with this shift the scale has a slightly higher high end and a slightly higher lower end.  When we talk about emotions we state that you can only experience one emotion at a time. (We recommend you aim for the most positive emotion you can find and therefore we encourage you to look at everything and find the most positive thought about it.) Even it is just one step, you are improved. 

Friend, B. we asked you to spend a day where you tried not to feel negative at all.  Did you do that and how was that for you? 

B:  It was good.  I focused on trying to remind myself to see the good in wherever I was or whatever I was doing at the time.  Sometimes it is easy to forget.  When I made a point of reminding myself, I reminded myself more. 

H:  Our goal with that is to help you notices how much effort is required to bring yourself up and to hold that high vibration.  We have talked about this scale like a piano scale:  low notes on left and high notes on right.  On the piano scale you can play one note at a time or take your thumb nail and rapidly slide up the scale.  We have also likened it to a trombone where the slide goes in and out and you go over the notes very quickly. 

Even though you can only feel one emotion at a time, it is possible to move oneself quickly through those emotions.  What we have strongly encouraged you through the years to do is develop a tool kit with happy thoughts, music, songs -the kind that send you, move you and to keep those tools handy so when you get into those negative moods you can quickly slide up the scale. 

Friend, S, is there a song that really moves you? 

S:  many. 

H:  When you hear something that moves you, you can then move through those emotional levels very quickly and bring yourself back up. 

We are encouraging you to love yourself.  Part of today’s meditation was about loving every cell.  That tender touch to every cell.  We acknowledge that it is very difficult to be in a human body, to be living a human experience.  There is a song that comes to mind, Whitney Houston, “learning to love yourself is the greatest gift of all.”  We are trying to help you in any way we can to love yourself.  When we say “choose to focus on that which is positive” we are saying choose it because you love yourself that much.  Friend, no one else can love you enough to help you through a difficult time.  That’s not quite true…they can help, but you have to be able to receive and you receive because you have on some level decided you’d rather feel better. Still, in the end you are the one that must make the choice to feel better.  Remember this is an environment where you have choice.  You can choose how to respond.  That is what it is to be human.  Do dogs have choice? 

P: Yes.

H: Ummm, not so much.  They are given intuition as to whether a person that is approaching them, or a situation, is safe or not.  They respond to intuition.  They sense, and it may be perceived as decision making, but it is not conscious reasoning, it is awaiting clear inspiration.

You, however, are given information and can sift through it and make the choices that you want.  You don’t all know it but you all have the capacity to do it.  We are offering every tool that we can think of to assist you in finding your way to that positive attitude; finding a way to love yourself so much that you will not tolerate the down moments.  You can’t stand them so much you will do what it takes to find that positivity. 

P:  I found it difficult during the meditation to make the cancer cells happy, warm and comfy and I don’t want them to feel happy, warm and comfy in my body.  It was easy for me to have the sun warm everything but not the cancer cells.  They don’t get to do that to my body.  Sorry.  Don’t want them to be happy there. 

H:  We are going to step out a moment and let the entity talk about cancer cells. 

Entity:  I don’t know why Higgins wants me to talk about cancer cells.  I don’t think I’m capable.  It is my understanding that you have normal cells then something happens in some of the cells and they begin replicating inappropriately.  It happens all the time and you have an immune system that goes in and gobbles up the cells that are acting inappropriately. With cancer the cells grew too fast and replicated too fast for the immune system to take care of it. 

P:  Sometimes the cancer cells are so good at camouflage that the immune system doesn’t see them.

P:  One of the things we know is that stress is a precursor.  It’s like giving the system a big shot of electricity it’s not prepared to deal with.  You normally have a functioning system kind of like a highway of Chinese meridians and cells have DNA and know how to behave, but when this big shot of electricity (stress) -especially if it is ongoing-  happens, you start getting dead ends in your highway and your brain and other organs are sending misinformation.  I talk to my body and ask what can we do today to be healthy?  Chronis stress for years will cause you to think negatively.  Encountering a lot of stress weakens our body.  With cancer I hope to do things that will strengthen my body. 

M:  Do you mean that stress reduction in itself is a treatment for cancer?

P:  I believe so. It is creating an environment for your body to function well.  I could take my meds, eat really healthy foods, get 7 hours of sleep every night but if I am still stressed out, none of that will heal because it is not creating a completely healthy body. 

M:  So the stress reduction itself is a cure for cancer? 

P: I don’t believe in cures, but it is the most important part of treatment.  Of 10 people at the clinic who said they were going to have spontaneous healing, two of them did.  They both changed their lifestyle to significantly reduce stress.  Another way of looking at this is breast cancer is mostly in women.  Why? Because (in my opinion) women carry a tremendous amount of cultural stress.  They are responsible for kids, their jobs, taking care of household, etc., keep everybody’s morale up.  The women would come to the clinic and sob because they couldn’t take care of their kids, etc.  They were self-imposing stress on top of the cultural stress. 

I’m not saying men don’t have issues but women were in my face when I worked at the clinic. Until women can accept that they don’t have to be perfect, the treatment isn’t going to work. It’s like an electrical socket already fried and you take a treatment that makes you tired and throw up; you just plugged in more electricity to an overloaded socket and it will blow up and nothing will work. 

When you’re stressed, try to look for the cause and see what you can do to make changes and don’t beat yourself up because you had stress.  The loving yourself creates the healing environment.  Then you can handle stress.  I don’t think there is anyone who has had cancer who doesn’t ask themselves on a regular basis, “If I get a diagnosis tomorrow that says it’s coming back, how will I respond?  What are my choices?”  When you are facing those kinds of choices you are not going to be singing a happy song.  You are going to be in shock and probably unhappy and maybe angry, then you have to make a choice.  Now that I have had my pity party, what will my choice be?  That’s just cancer.  Our whole life is about choices.  Do we do life with conscious choices or do we let the circumstances override us? 

M:  You’re suggesting in addition to looking at positivity and negativity that we also choose things that reduce stress? 

P:  Yes, and you have to be nice to yourself as well.  One of the things I frequently said to people who were diagnosed and were beating themselves up because they  didn’t have the fight mentality is, “You know, if you were smiling 10 minutes after receiving this news and talking about buying a new dress for a party, I would send you to a mental health counselor,” because that would be an inappropriate response to a challenging situation.  As long as we’re alive, we are going to have stress.  That is not the issue.  The issue is choice. 

H:  We are back and appreciate your conversation and we’re going to back up to the cells that are normal that become abnormal.  This is part of the natural process that occurs in the body.  You may not like it but there it is. There are many things that you do not like.  If you say, “No, I don’t want that, no I don’t want that, no, no, no,” what happens? 

S:  You get it. 

H:  The Universe doesn’t hear, “No.”  When we are speaking to you, Friend S, about loving these cells that you do not want, why do we encourage you to try to achieve that feeling? 

S:  I don’t know. 

H:  Because love is an emotion that bridges gaps.  Those of you who have children know that there is almost nothing your child can do that will make you not love it.  For friend S, there is almost nothing a pet can do that you won’t love it and same for K.  You may not like what the pet does but you still love it.  You may not like what your cells are doing but you love yourself.  And the point of that is to reduce resistance.  What you resist, persists.  We are not saying you want to have cancer, we’re saying if you can love the situation you are in, you will release resistance.  When we encourage you to find happiness no matter what, we are encouraging you to release resistance. 

Are these somehow more achievable conversational words that you understand better what we are trying to help you achieve?

S:  Yes. 

H:  As we go forward in this coming week, how do you think you can apply what you are talking about right now?  How could you apply the meditation or the words we are saying? 

S:  Go into my tool kit and distract myself with things that I love. 

H:  What else have you done to release resistance?  You found an apartment.  The fear of not having some place to live and the fear of cancer are synonymous.  Would you agree? 

S:  Yes. 

H:  the two are equal.  Now that you don’t have to worry about having a place to live, you have removed that whole equivalency. 

Other questions? 

K:  I have stress of a totally different kind.  It is more overwhelm.  There is an extreme amount of pressure at work.  We have fewer people but are supposed to do even more work.  I know what the most important things to do are.  But once those are taken care of the number of things that need to be done are so many that sometimes it is really hard to choose.  I see this in my personal life as I try and take care of Doris’ financial and medical matters, trying to clean out her house so we can sell it, trying to file for assets with the court and help her move to a new living situation and it’s just more than I have time for.  Between the two, it sucks all the enjoyment out of my life.  I spend all my time doing work for someone else. 

H:  Let’s stop you there.  One of the things you just said is that it sucks all the enjoyment out of your life.  And we are stopping you at that point because we know that that is an untruth.  When we see you cuddle your dog or the bird land on you we know that brings you joy.  Not all the joy is gone.  When you talk about how all the joy is gone, you are creating.  We want you to think about what you are creating.  We do also understand overwhelm so continue what you were saying about overwhelm. 

K:  I feel that good self-care would be to take some time off, relax and yet all I can do is look at all the stuff, even right next to me that isn’t getting done and the stuff at work.  To leave work and take a vacation is very painful because all the work builds up, all the deadlines.  I don’t get extra time to do the deadlines. That’s not their problem, that’s my problem.  So even taking time off to relax punishes me at work.  There are some deadlines that have to be done for Doris regardless of my life. So, I am having a hard time figuring out how to restore myself and how to cope with it all. 

H:  We are thrilled with your question.  You are not the only person in this group who has more going on than can be accomplished.  We cannot give you the entire response that you want today but we will work on this for you over the next week or so.  That is a phenomenon (maybe this is not the correct word) that happens to a lot of you in physical.  It is a specific learning adventure.  Some of you have ill health, some of you have money issues, some of you have issues with time and having too much to do.  It is a specific learning.  We haven’t addressed this very much in our conversations over time.  We know you are tired of hearing the words “pre-paving.”  They are not working very well for you all.  But let’s think of it this way as a solution. 

There are certain things in a day that you must do.  There are certain things that you would like to get done.  Try this for a morning or a day:  write yourself a list. On one list write down the things you must personally do. “I must personally do this, this and this.  Then make a second list of the things you would like to get done.  We would like you to learn how to hand over these issues, the second list, to the Universe.  We would like you to learn how to let go and let the Universe help you. 

K:  I have tried to do a focused energy push for all these Doris matters.  I don’t know how it’s going to work out. Help it with ease and flow; help it to work out; we’ll do the best we can.  I feel like I’ve made a focused energy push.  We’ll see how that goes.  Whenever I’ve tried to do that at work, it doesn’t work.  It all falls apart.  I don’t know if it’s because I’m working on stuff that shouldn’t be worked on or I don’t want to do the stuff (I’m resistant).  I’ve tried to clear the resistance but some of what we are doing (at work) is wrong. I don’t want to do it and I’m trying to reconcile my personal ethics with what they are asking me to do.  I struggle with that. 

H:  How do you feel about the thing we asked you to do?  Make a list of what you must do and then make a list of the other things.  Take the other half of your list and do what you want with it: light it on fire; give it to the Universe.  You will do as much of this as you can after you have done the things you must do.  We’re not saying don’t do the thing, we’re saying let the Universe provide you with the answer on how to get it done. 

K:  I ask for guidance on that every day, but… I don’t know.  A lot of time I can’t do the “must dos” every day.  You’re acting like I can do the “must dos” and then have more time.  A lot of time I don’t because they are asking us to do more than we can really accomplish if we want to do it accurately and thoroughly, which is required. 

H:  OK. 

P:  That feeling of overwhelm that K is experiencing, that’s how I lived the last 10 years of my life.  And that’s why I have cancer, because I didn’t know how to let go and it felt so hopeless.  Every time I would get one thing done something else would happen that would just overwhelm me all over again and I just learned to numb out as much as I could.  And, I’m not talking about healthy numbing out like meditation; just let me sit in this corner and don’t talk to me numbing out. 

P:  It sounds like there aren’t enough people at K’s work to do all the work, so to make a list of “absolutely has to be done,” and then another list, what I’m hearing is that it all has to be done and there’s not enough of her to do all of that. 

K:  It’s not that I can delegate.  There’s no delegation. It’s not that I have a low capacity.  I went to law school at night while working full time during the say as a single mom with 3 children.  It was a lot to do.  I was always overwhelmed for 4-5 years.  During that time I got married, had another kid.  It didn’t get any easier.  I learned not to be perfect at everything.  I had to be good enough.  But these things for my friend (Doris), I don’t have much wiggle room.  It has to be legally adequate.  The same at work, it has to be legally adequate.  I am trying to figure out how to make it easier.  I can ignore some of the stuff that needs to be done.  Then I get re-directed but still have to do the stuff that has to be done. 

H:  redirected by your mind?

K:  No, by my management. Yeah, ooh you’re doing a great job but you have to do all this other stuff, too.  You’re doing great but you’re not doing enough.

H:  Friend, today we are not going to have an answer that sparkles with you.  In the scenario you are describing, the suggestion we are offering you is to list what you literally must do and let the rest go- hand it over to the Universe.  The other option:  why are you still at a job that is creating so much distress for you?  We’re saying this with great love and not with criticism.  Like a frog in a pot and the heat is turned up, and the frog doesn’t know to jump out and boils and dies.  Are you the frog that isn’t willing to jump out? 

K:  No, we are planning for me to retire at the end of this year at this point. 

H:  So it’s getting from here to there. So getting from here to there we don’t want to say specifically release resistance because we are not wanting you to be overwhelmed.  We are not wanting you to work so much that you make yourself sick.  We are not wanting anything negative for you.  But we do know that when you learn how to release things and let it the Universe take over, things have a way of getting done.  Somebody else will say “K I did that.”  You’re laughing now but crazy wonderful things happen when you can let it go to the Universe. 

We understand that we don’t understand what it’s like to be in your shoes. We also know that it is not healthy for you to be in an environment that you cannot control the way that you talk about not being able to control it.  In those instances it is sometimes better to leave -as you are planning to do.  For example, if you were a battered wife, we would tell you don’t try to make that marriage work.  Get out.  If you are a battered employee, don’t try to make that marriage work.  Get out.  Maybe the thing you need to hear from us tonight is that you’re doing the “letting go thing” by stepping down when you can.

The learning curve, the soul expansion that you are receiving, is wonderful and one of the things that we notice is that despite all of this, despite what is going on with you at work, you have figured out how to help your friend, Doris, in a way that is profound.  This is not a small thing you are doing for her.  Despite all of these things, you still have a big enough heart and enough ingenuity to figure out how to do these things for your friend which is pretty remarkable.  We would have you spend some time focusing on the things that you do well and are doing well.  You have your bosses focusing on the things that you are not doing well.  Focus on the things you DO WELL.  Uh oh, make another list. Why not write what you appreciate about yourself, your husband, your job?  Find something to like about your bosses.  They are also under pressure, too. See if you can release the resistance in the Universe that is piling on you and see if that works.  Our time is at an end.

H: Did you like the format of meditating first this evening? 

Scribe’s note: Four of us said yes; two said either way is fine.  One us said that it sets us up for opening with Higgins. We can let the stuff of the day be behind us and focus on being here sharing with Higgins.  It also sets up the energetic.  Rather than focusing on things external, like our farm meditations, it focuses more on getting our energy together and what we are doing with the energy.