Choices

Cheryl: Will you talk about how to make choices that affect our future in a positive way?

Higg(in)s: Every waking moment you affect your own future. The emotion you experience with each thought has the potential to return to you as life experience. Therefore, we encourage you to look for the best possible thought you can muster every waking moment. As your thoughts and emotions return to you in physical format, you will always be visited by the best possible thoughts and emotions rather than the harder, more difficult ones.

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Check-In

Higg(in)s: Are you finding something to appreciate about yourself every day? If not, establish a daily routine of doing so. Those around you will begin to treat you better. You will be stimulated with good ideas to make your days better. It is easy and it is useful.

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What Stops Aggression?

Cheryl: The news reports this morning show a peaceful protest in Washington, D.C. turning aggressive. I have come to believe what you say about aggression not stopping aggression. What does?

Higg(in)s: Peace. Peaceful humor. Peaceful words. Peaceful acceptance of differences. Peaceful agreeable-ness. Peaceful hope. Peaceable attitude.

Cheryl: You do say that sometimes an emotion is too far from our current emotion to be accessible. Is that what is going on here, between Israel and Palestine? Between the demonstrators and whatever it is they are fighting?

Higg(in)s: Very astute of you to grasp this. If you will maintain yourself as a harbor for peace, that which is not peace will move away from you. If it can’t move away, it will fight sort of like a cornered animal. (That is what you are experiencing at work. *) The other person has to bring you into their emotional control so that they can feel better.

In this peaceful protest turned aggressive what you are seeing is people who have become disoriented. They do not realize that their aggression is the same aggression that they claim to be protesting. The solution is for those of you who do remain centered, your emotional compass rests where North is Peace, to start a new conversation. Talk about peaceful resolutions in your own home. You don’t have to fix anything else, just talk about, and initiate, peace and peaceful resolutions in your own lives. This will create opportunity for those who can, to shift just a little, then a little more. It is like turning a car around in a tight space. You must make multiple forward and back motions with a little turn at a time. These who are fighting, these who protest aggressively, these people cannot make an about turn. It can’t happen. It is the equivalent of cornering an animal. You have to provide an environment where they can make a little bit of a mental shift at a time.

*Note: See posts from November 13, 14, 15, 2023 regarding Higg(n)s responses to my adventures with a difficult coworker.

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More Clarity Regarding My Difficult Coworker

Cheryl: Regarding my questions that past few days about a difficult coworker, yesterday my workday actually flowed along pretty well. I found myself smiling for no apparent reason. In some ways my day flowed more pleasantly than before the negativity arose. I’m having a hard time wrapping my mind around the possibility that I did this by keeping my Mona Lisa Smile in place, and doing the other things you suggested, but I really did not see a good way out of this and now it seems to be smoothing out on its own.

Higg(in)s: It’s not smoothing out on its own. Your attention to your thoughts, words, and actions smoothed it out. Let us provide a simple metaphor. You are driving your vehicle down the road towards your destination. From time to time, you take a detour down a bumpy gravel road and through puddles of water. The scenery is interesting and you like the change although the driving is more difficult and requires you to drive a little slower. Eventually, you get to your destination regardless of the route you chose.

We suggest you continue to define and refine your desires. Make a list of the qualities you want in your co-workers, in your work environment, in the feeling you have when you perform your job duties, the rewards you receive. Your desires continually evolve. Continue to plan in advance, and to adjust your plans whenever it suits you. Believe with unwavering commitment that your desires are granted. The essence of that which you desire is on its way to you. It may arrive differently than you expected but it will arrive, and it will be good. As you become clearer on your creative focus the responses will become overtly as you wish.

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Fixing the Mess I’m In

Cheryl: Regarding your posts of November 13 and 14, 2023 about my difficult coworker, how do I fix this mess now that I’m in it?

Higg(in)s: Keep that Mona Lisa Smile pasted on your face. Continue to define the qualities you would like to see in your coworkers. Reading your new and improved list on a daily basis is a powerful tool. Acknowledge something you do like about each player in your workplace adventure. Again, do this daily. (Yes, we know it takes time to do this. Once you get this situation resolved and you move into your future you will spend less time cleaning up messes.)

The harder part of cleaning up a mess is that there are few good choices. Listen for inspiration and follow your intuition. You will at minimum be guided towards least worst options. When you speak for yourself do so without heat. Continue to treat those involved as though they are important and valuable. They are. Remember, no matter how uncomfortable the situation, you created it, and you can learn something from it that will help you the remainder of your days on earth. This person is doing something for you, not to you.

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Managing a Difficult Coworker

Cheryl: Regarding yesterday’s post (November 13, 2023) how did she (this difficult coworker) arrive in my work location? I have made a very nice list of qualities that I would like to see in my co-workers and have reviewed it often with positive emotion.

Higg(in)s: Yes, you have done that. But if you will look back at the timeline you started that list close to the time she arrived. It was too late by then; the attraction was complete. Look instead to the more recent new hires and their positive attitudes to see what you are currently attracting.

This is a good example of why it is vitally important to choose your life in advance. Life’s experiences sometimes take a while to catch up with you. You are discovering a very important lesson: It is much easier to create your life well in advance. Otherwise, you spend a lot of time cleaning up your creational messes.

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Bragging

Just bragging because something good happened today. My mother started blogging for something to do during Covid. 

She has maintained livingtheaginglife.com for three years now.  Living the Aging Life is in her words, “random thoughts of an astonished great-grandmother,” and is her take on day-to-day circumstances, all in rhyming verse. Today, her first book Butterflies and Forget-Me-Nots was published and is available on Amazon.

I hope that each of you is also having happy successes.

Bright blessings, everyone.

Cheryl

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Someone at Work Is Focusing on Me Negatively

Cheryl: Someone at work is focusing on me negatively. When she first arrived as a new hire she focused negatively on others, but her acid ways are now focused on me. As you know, I pay attention to my attitude and positive words and thoughts. I would have thought I was immune to this kind of thing. Apparently not. What happened?

Higg(in)s: This is an example of repelling emotional states. It is quite unconscious to the perpetrator of your discomfort, but she cannot have you around. Her response to you is not about the quality of your work, nor is it about your personality. It is about her emotional set point. You don’t match it. She is flailing about trying to make you match her emotional set point so she can feel better.

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Mona Lisa Smile

Cheryl: Give us a technique to feel better quickly.

Higg(in)s: Gently lift the corners of your mouth. Hold the corners of your mouth steady in a Mona Lisa smile.

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Can Cancers Die?

Cheryl: You’ve mentioned that this time of year is a time for acknowledgement of the passing of things (it’s the end of the harvest season, the plants stop growing and begin to decay). You also mention, often, that this is a fractal Universe, so all things are just repeating patterns. Can this also be true for disease? Can a cancerous tumor, for example, just pass on?

Higg(in)s: Certainly. A plant grows when the conditions are right and dies when the conditions are incompatible with life, or its life span is spent. This is true of people. This is true of cancerous cells. Cancer is tricky because the cells can continue to replicate until the body carrying it dies. What you need to do is make the host, the body that is carrying it, an inhospitable environment. The cancerous cells will shrivel from natural causes the way a zucchini plant, which thrives in summer, shrivels when the weather becomes too cold.

Cheryl: How would one make themselves inhospitable to cancer?

Higg(in)s: Constantly maintain a positive and enthusiastic attitude.

We feel you already rebelling. Every waking moment seems like too much to ask. Let us ask you this: If you are driving a car how much of the time are you expected to pay attention? Assuming you are not driving one the new self-driving cars, the answer is every moment. We encourage you to spend every waking moment pursuing the most positive thought and attitude you can muster upon every topic. Soon, the positive feedback loop process will provide you with circumstances that make it easy to have positive thoughts and attitudes.

A thing to note: If you expect a 180 degree turn around with these thoughts, you will fail. Expect a 1 degree turn and then another 1 degree turn until you have made 180 one degree turns.

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