I’m a 28 year old medical student experiencing an existential crisis of sorts. After working as a chemist for about five years, I found myself very unhappy with my occupation. I decided to pursue my lifelong dream of becoming a physician. I applied to medical school with the feeling that if it was meant to be, I would be accepted. I was accepted into school but I’m struggling. I thought that this was meant to be and that if I worked very hard, I would be fine. I expected school to be very difficult, but it is so much more so than I thought. Now for some back story.
When I was 13, I was told by a medium that I had an important purpose on Earth as a healer and would one day make a very important scientific discovery. At that young age, I was surprised and flattered, but didn’t take any stock in the information. As years went by, I would ponder the notion from time to time and think, I’m not that smart; that would never happen. I was told similar information again around the age of 18 and again last week.
My question is, if this is where I’m supposed to be, why is it so hard? I ask for help from my guides and everyone I can call upon for help, I study day and night, and still find this to be so difficult. I’ve never had trouble doing anything in my life; everything has always come easily to me. But the one thing that I’ve ever really wanted, to become a physician and healer and to help as many people as possible, seems so very hard.
Am I in the right place? Am I on the right track? I feel like I’m losing myself, losing ground. Please help shed some light on my situation. I really need some guidance right now.
Higgins: This is a question of great beauty relative to the human endeavor.
Mankind is guided from a broader wisdom by emotions, impulses and intuition. You, the asker of this question, have been impulsed and guided for many years to pursue a role as healer. Healer has meant, through eons, many things before medical school came into being. Healer has come to mean medical doctor. However, the time has arrived in which medical doctors must become healers. The gap between what a medical doctor does and what a healer does must be bridged.
To answer a portion of this question directly: yes, you are on the right track.
The reason things have come so easily before is that on a broader level you allowed them to. This built up confidence so that when the time came to make the jump into medical school you would not hesitate. Had you known how hard it would be you may not have followed through with this format for expressing your spiritual gift. Your Broader Self and Spirit Guides assist you in moving towards the expression of your gifts unerringly from birth to death. You have made no errors nor wasted any time. You are where you are in life in divine timing.
We will add here that there is nothing that need be difficult. Mankind has created the blockages and difficulties that exist, however you must now navigate through the obstacle course of blockages and difficulties that have been erected to achieve your dream.
It is these artificial blockages that cause you to lose heart, to feel as though you are not only losing ground but losing yourself. You are getting caught up in the snares that mankind has unknowingly and unwittingly placed before themselves. It is the manmade hardships that you are responding to rather than a discovery that you don’t want to be a healer after all.
You do want to be a healer. You also know on some level that the hardships you are encountering on your way to achieving this goal are wrong in some way.
As a second step (after getting your energy to flow fluidly through you the way it is designed to) you need to clarify the problem. Get clear in your mind that you are not the problem. The problem is not a wavering of desire to heal. The problem is the system in place to achieve the required learning and there is nothing you can do about the system today. All you can do today is relax about it all.
We really mean relax. Tenseness pushes away or, perhaps more correctly, closes off access to the very things you want most.
Absorb this and we will share more in another segment.
Received November 11, 2013 at Lake Goodwin, Washington USA