Ask Higg(in)s

It is very difficult to make change in our lives, or indeed in the world, when we have no vision for what a changed world looks like. That said, let us draw our attention once again towards The Kindness Paradigm in which we abandon our current paradigm of domination with dollars the primary motivating force and adopt instead a paradigm of kindness in which the happiness of oneself and all others is the primary motivating force.

When change is desired we must develop in our minds a vision of how life will look and feel to us once the change is implemented. We must do this before we create it in our lives. To create lives filled with happiness we must first define happiness. What is happiness?

WordNet 3.1 (accessed November 27, 2013) defines happiness as a ”state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy”.

Masaru Emoto, in his book, The Hidden Messages in Water, asks a very important question, “Do you have a sense of peace in your heart, a feeling of security about your future, and a feeling of anticipation when you wake up in the morning?”

He goes on to ask, “If we can call this happiness, then would you say that at this moment you are happy?”

(From HIDDEN MESSAGES IN WATER by Masaru Emoto. Copyright © 2005 by Masaru Emoto. Reprinted by permission of Atria Books, a Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.)

A goal of the Kindness Paradigm is that every individual will be able to answer a truthful yes to this question.

In previous segments of The Kindness Paradigm we laid out a path to achieve this state called happiness and it went like this:

Relax wherever you are in life. Struggling will not help. Relaxing will.

Allow and accept others to be as they are. Allow and accept all things to be as they are. To insist on anything being different from what it is, is to struggle and struggle prevents us from achieving happiness.

Develop compassion for yourself and for others. When we are able to hold compassion for ourselves and for others regardless of the situation it is easier to accept all things the way they are.

Kindness overflows from compassion. Apply the kindness that will overflow from compassion to create a world that reflects respect and honor for the beauty of the human being and uplifts the human spirit.

Nurture and uplift others. Nurturing and being nurtured leads to feelings of safety and security in both mind and body. Feeling safe is important because feeling safe leads to feeling expansive and growth is what the human experience is all about.

Expand and grow by following dreams. Nurture others in the pursuit of theirs.

Learn to represent ourselves truly rather than being swayed by others. Be the same kind person all the time always sharing the best of ourselves regardless of what others choose to say or do. To do this we must hold our own emotional compass steady.

To hold the personal emotional compass steady, learn to maintain focus on each our own happiness and fulfillment while making all decisions from kindness. One may not, cannot, be both happy and unhappy at the same time. Focus on finding solutions to uncomfortable situations so that you may return most quickly to a happy contentedness.

We do this because we know that our lives are mirrors of our day to day emotional expression. Thus, by continually seeking a happy contentedness we each create satisfying lives for ourselves and others.

This is what change looks like–it looks like intentionally planning, designing and building our lives, families, homes, communities, governments and our businesses all from a place of compassion, kindness and happiness with the intention of creating more of same.

Cheryl Jensen, November 27, 2013 and May 28, 2014 at Lake Goodwin, Washington  USA