Offering from Higgins:
You are not your body. Your body is yours to use for this lifetime. Treat it well. Exercise. Eat food that is nourishing. Provide it with plenty of fresh water. Most importantly, always look for reasons to be happy. It is a lifetime of anger, frustration and unhappiness that lead to mental and physical health mis-adventures as you age.
Received May 11, 2012 at Lake Goodwin, Washington
Note: This is part 9 (and the final part) of Higgins’ response to a question. Only a portion of the letter is presented here for brevity. The aspect of the question that Higgins is responding to today is bolded.
Question:
So now that I have stepped back and have taken a look at my own habits and have begun to change them, I find it a challenge to be in my husband’s company. He has the outlook that he is not appreciated, that he works too hard for no reward, and he doesn’t have a vision for his future. He always seems to have a reason why something can’t be done. I hear these words leave his mouth daily and when I try to explain to him that we shape our reality, he doesn’t hear it, and I think he doesn’t want to. I think he wants to hold onto being a victim, and I am not in that place anymore. The more I pull away from my husband (because I don’t know what else to do), the more sullen and angry he becomes, blaming me for his loneliness and unhappiness. I intend for my children to see the truth and live in a place of compassion. With their father as an example of the opposite, I’m not sure what to do.
Higgins: Now that you have gained some clarity on what it means to be physical it is natural to want to share your clarity with others. Your intent for your children to ‘see the truth’ is a very beautiful desire. Nonetheless, we wish to remind you that you and none other creates in your reality and your children (and none other) create in their respective realities. So if they wish to discover what is Truth for them they will. Your ‘job’ is to live as an example of living in Truth to stir within them a desire to live in theirs. Your ‘job’ is to embody compassion in such a profound way that you stir in them the desire to be compassion also.
You state next, ‘With their father as an example of the opposite,…’. We are certain that you will be happier, your children will be happier and certainly your husband will be happier, if your desire for him, too, is to find his Truth. Surely you do not truly wish for him to live his life as an example of the opposite. In fact, it seems your entire focus and reason for contacting us with your question is because you do not like being around your husband as he expresses that negative aspect of himself.
What we suggest you do is remind yourself regularly that each of you, every single one of you humans, is a magnificent creation. Each of you is an eternal being of loveliness. You are kind, warm, generous and loving. Any expression of negativity simply exemplifies the difficulty of the task of living in your physical realm and does not at all represent the Truth of any of you.
It will be much easier for you to feel compassion for your husband (and yourself) when you remember that. When your everyday responses come from compassion your thoughts, words, and actions will become gentler and you will slip more easily into alignment with your desires.
Received May 6, 2012 at Lake Goodwin, Washington
Note: This is part 8 of Higgins’ response to this question. I have re-posted the entire letter for clarity and the part Higgins is responding to today is bolded.
Question: I read your channel on compassion and it was just what I needed to hear today.
I have a question for Higgins related to that channel. I’ve been trying to really take a look at how I view the world and watch the words that leave my mouth, understanding, as you have said, that these things shape my experiences. Well, the more I step back and look at myself, the more I see how my family has become used to being negative, and that negative outlook has skewed their vision. At first I thought it was just my husband as the source of the negativity, but now I see him as mirror to myself, and we both reflect to our children.
So now that I have stepped back and have taken a look at my own habits and have begun to change them, I find it a challenge to be in my husband’s company. He has the outlook that he is not appreciated, that he works too hard for no reward, and he doesn’t have a vision for his future. He always seems to have a reason why something can’t be done. I hear these words leave his mouth daily and when I try to explain to him that we shape our reality, he doesn’t hear it, and I think he doesn’t want to. I think he wants to hold onto being a victim, and I am not in that place anymore. The more I pull away from my husband (because I don’t know what else to do), the more sullen and angry he becomes, blaming me for his loneliness and unhappiness. I intend for my children to see the truth and live in a place of compassion. With their father as an example of the opposite, I’m not sure what to do.
So my question is, how do I maintain my viewpoint of compassion, achieve my dreams, and be a good example for my children, while living with a man who does not want the same? How do I love him when I don’t like being around him?
Higgins: It is natural that you feel this way. In changing your view-point and beliefs and then your words and actions you have shifted your emotional set point and thus the vibration you emit. His emotional set point and thus his vibrational offering have not changed. Therefore what you (and he) experience is some discord because his energetic output no longer matches yours.
You’ll want to note that he becomes sullen and angry in part because you are not behaving energetically the way he has come to expect you to. Meaning, energetically he is not getting something from your relationship that he used to get. He doesn’t understand how he draws the energy that animates him and up until now he has energetically fed off of you rather than drawing upon his own eternal connection. You’ve changed your energetic output and now he is having a harder time getting the energy he needs to feel good.
This is the reason you will sometimes feel drained in this relationship. Any time you feel frustrated, tired or drained simply ask your own source of energy to flow harmoniously through you and you will experience immediate refreshment and re-alignment that will become stronger with practice.
Remember the question we asked you first? We asked whether you wanted your marriage to succeed. We asked that because in order to succeed you will have to be the one to create a bridge for him to cross to access you energetically (as you physicals do in all relationships). Yet for your own sanity you will have to figure out how to create an energetic bridge that flows both ways. All the best co-creative relationships are built on a firm platform of solidity in one’s own energetic flow that then harmonizes with another’s energetic flow.
You will do this by gently and persistently following your heart, all the while looking for reasons to like your husband. On unseen energetic levels this will draw from him his best thus drawing him into closer vibration with the ever evolving new you.
Received May 4, 2012 at Lake Goodwin, Washington
Note: This is part 7 of Higgins’ response to this question. I re-posted the entire letter yesterday (May 2, 2012) for clarity as they address this next segment. The part Higgins is responding to today is bolded.
Question: I’ve been trying to really take a look at how I view the world and watch the words that leave my mouth, understanding, as you have said, that these things shape my experiences. Well, the more I step back and look at myself, the more I see how my family has become used to being negative, and that negative outlook has skewed their vision. At first I thought it was just my husband as the source of the negativity, but now I see him as mirror to myself, and we both reflect to our children.
Higgins: Your family has become used to being negative. Correct. Yet another way to look at this is that you and your husband came together in relationship at some point in part because you were emotional/vibrational equals meaning that in some way you emotionally clicked. As children came forth, with you and your husband leading the emotional way, your children had to either become equal with the overall emotional environment within your household, rebel or leave.
So yes, your children’s outlook is skewed by the emotional leaders in the household (you and your husband) and reflect what you and your husband believe.
In your case your husband has been the emotional leader with you supporting him in that same emotional/vibrational equality that initially formed your relationship. Now you wish to change the emotional status quo and your husband isn’t prepared for this either mentally or emotionally. Another way to state this is you must become the new emotional leader and gently draw your husband and children into new emotional territory.
The way to accomplish this is to ever so gently begin to be the person you want to be. You do not want to try to explain this to your husband or your children or anyone else. You just want to ever so gently move forward through your days, being the person you wish to be and let everyone and everything in your life slip into place behind you.
Received May 2, 2012
Note: This is part 6 of Higgins’ response to this question. I have re-posted the entire letter for clarity and the part Higgins is responding to today is bolded.
Question: I read your channel on compassion and it was just what I needed to hear today.
I have a question for Higgins related to that channel. I’ve been trying to really take a look at how I view the world and watch the words that leave my mouth, understanding, as you have said, that these things shape my experiences. Well, the more I step back and look at myself, the more I see how my family has become used to being negative, and that negative outlook has skewed their vision. At first I thought it was just my husband as the source of the negativity, but now I see him as mirror to myself, and we both reflect to our children.
So now that I have stepped back and have taken a look at my own habits and have begun to change them, I find it a challenge to be in my husband’s company. He has the outlook that he is not appreciated, that he works too hard for no reward, and he doesn’t have a vision for his future. He always seems to have a reason why something can’t be done. I hear these words leave his mouth daily and when I try to explain to him that we shape our reality, he doesn’t hear it, and I think he doesn’t want to. I think he wants to hold onto being a victim, and I am not in that place anymore. The more I pull away from my husband (because I don’t know what else to do), the more sullen and angry he becomes, blaming me for his loneliness and unhappiness. I intend for my children to see the truth and live in a place of compassion. With their father as an example of the opposite, I’m not sure what to do.
So my question is, how do I maintain my viewpoint of compassion, achieve my dreams, and be a good example for my children, while living with a man who does not want the same? How do I love him when I don’t like being around him?
Higgins: Yes. Your thoughts, words, actions and most importantly the way you feel about your thoughts, words and actions shapes your daily life experience.
The way you feel is indicative of whether you are creating experiences you will enjoy or experiences you will find uncomfortable. If you find that you cannot manufacture positive emotion upon a topic then change the topic you are ruminating upon to something you can feel good about. If that doesn’t work then relax, letting your mind float on a sea of calm, thinking of nothing. Either option is superior to ruminating upon things that feel negative to you.
Consider this and the topic will be continued tomorrow.
Received May 2, 2012
Note: Higgins is responding to this detailed question in parts. Today they are responding to the bolded segment regarding couples who don’t want the same things. See the entry from April 16, 2012 for the full question.
Question: How do I maintain my viewpoint of compassion, achieve my dreams, and be a good example for my children, while living with a man who doesn’t want the same?
Higgins: We understand how it may seem as though your spouse does not want the same things that you do. Now that you have come to understand that each of you shapes your own world with your thoughts, words, actions and emotions it is uncomfortable to be around others who have not yet become aware of this truth. And you are no doubt aware now that no matter how you try you simply cannot force this awareness upon another.
Let us remind you that each of you, including your husband, is a brilliant being of light: a portion of that which you call God. Like you, he is inspired genius. He is loving, kind, enthusiastic, energetic, talented and fun. From what you say he simply is not reflecting his brilliance very clearly right now.
Many of you are like that: magnificent diamonds who’ve lost their glitter. We don’t want you to rush right out and start polishing him. We want you to polish you. By doing so you will gently, subtly, softly remind him of his own brilliance. Walk beside him to show him the way because as you’ve come to know telling him what he should do and how he should do it just won’t work and in the end, that isn’t what your soul wants to do either.
As you begin to shine, your gentle inclusion of him in your wonderful new life will entice him toward exactly that which you desire: a fulfilling relationship with him and a satisfying, rewarding home life. This gentle, peaceful inclusion will help him relax back into harmony with his Truth and his Truth definitely wants you to achieve your dreams and definitely wants to be a good example for your children.
Blessings to you friend as you become more you than you have ever been before.
Received April 27, 2012
Note: This is part 4 in a series. Check entry from April 16, 2o12 for the full version of this question. They address the bolded words in todays response.
Question: How do I maintain my viewpoint of compassion, achieve my dreams, and be a good example for my children, while living with a man who doesn’t want the same?
Higgins: Friend, no one can stop you from achieving your dreams whether you live with them or not. It is true that one who is close to you and whose opinion carries weight with you (whether you want it to or not) can negatively affect your creating. However, that only happens if you are not sure enough of yourself and your dream to carry positive thoughts about your dream regardless of the opinions of others.
The trick is to allow your ideas and dreams to mature a little more before you begin to share them. We’ve noticed that many of you want to share your thoughts and ideas with others hoping for positive responses that support and solidify your dreams. Yet many a very good idea is squashed the first time out of your mouths.
Creating a dream with others is fun. Moreover, if your dream needs the participation of another then talking it over with them from the idea’s inception seems like a sensible thing to do. However, if the person with whom you wish to co-create a dream (like this one for your family) can’t participate (in this instance your husband is simply not a vibrational match for it and it’s not that he won’t create with you it is that he can’t create with you) then the creation begins with you alone. Fine. This is a good place to start.
Don’t talk about your plans simply begin enacting them. Many of you really like to dissect the why’s of what you are doing and how you got to your new philosophy but really it is not necessary to do so. If you wish to be a good example for your children then be one. Make changes in yourself, in your speech, in your self-carriage, in the way you dress, in the way you address your children and your spouse. Be impeccable with you first and let a trickle down effect enhance the lives of your children and your spouse.
What we’re trying to say is don’t talk about it, do it. And do it gently. While you’re at it, find things to like about your husband. Just looking for things to like in him will create a more harmonious home atmosphere.
Received April 22, 2012
This offering from Higgins is part three in a series. In their last response they made the following statement:
Development of compassion is helpful in re-establishing balance in that emotional frequency that you call love.
Higgins will expand this topic today.
Offering from Higgins:
If you expect your spouse, or anyone, to always do what you wish for them to do you will be disappointed for they came forward to express who they are, not to do what pleases you. They do not want that and neither do you. It is far better for all of you to learn instead to allow others to be who they wish at the same time expressing yourself the way you wish.
You have drawn unto you understanding that inspires your life in a positive way and (from well-intentioned desire to assist your spouse) you have attempted to share this with him and he repels your effort. We encourage you to cease your attempts to share your exciting new information with him. Relax. Remember that all is well. Then try this trick for developing compassion: view your husband as a young boy, full of enthusiasm for life. Once you have that picture of him in your heart feel compassion for that young boy for whom life has been so hard. View that happy little boy turned man, struggling in a life that seems overwhelming and out of control.
With this picture of him it’s easy to see why he’s become discouraged, sullen and angry. Anger is a much stronger emotion than the emotion of depressed victim and so he jumps into anger because it feels so much better than the lower emotions that are accessible to him. Further, he cannot hear what you have to say about change for the positive because he is simply out of alignment right now with that possibility.
Can you feel some compassion for where he is in his life? If so you’ve made great progress towards relaxing back into your natural state of being that simply oozes love.
Let’s explain one more concept here: you’ve described your husband as someone who is a victim in his own life. (No one appreciates him, he works so hard, etc…) Well, victim is a very low vibration and each time you say something that brings him to anger you actually are bringing him into an emotional range that is better than the one he wanders around with most of the time, that of victim in his own life. So you might start secretly applauding him every time he gets angry because anger, for him, is a step in the right direction.
Received April 18, 2012 at Everett, Washington
Note from Cheryl: Higgins is responding to this involved question segmentally. I have bolded the aspect of the question that they are responding to today.
Question: I read your channel on compassion and it was just what I needed to hear today.
I have a question for Higgins related to that channel. I’ve been trying to really take a look at how I view the world and watch the words that leave my mouth, understanding, as you have said, that these things shape my experiences. Well, the more I step back and look at myself, the more I see how my family has become used to being negative, and that negative outlook has skewed their vision. At first I thought it was just my husband as the source of the negativity, but now I see him as mirror to myself, and we both reflect to our children.
So now that I have stepped back and have taken a look at my own habits and have begun to change them, I find it a challenge to be in my husband’s company. He has the outlook that he is not appreciated, that he works too hard for no reward, and he doesn’t have a vision for his future. He always seems to have a reason why something can’t be done. I hear these words leave his mouth daily and when I try to explain to him that we shape our reality, he doesn’t hear it, and I think he doesn’t want to. I think he wants to hold onto being a victim, and I am not in that place anymore. The more I pull away from my husband (because I don’t know what else to do), the more sullen and angry he becomes, blaming me for his loneliness and unhappiness. I intend for my children to see the truth and live in a place of compassion. With their father as an example of the opposite, I’m not sure what to do.
So my question is, how do I maintain my viewpoint of compassion, achieve my dreams, and be a good example for my children, while living with a man who does not want the same? How do I love him when I don’t like being around him?
Higgins: Love is a much misunderstood emotion. Love is not something you give and receive: love is something you are. You are a being of love and light and blessed wonder. When you radiate emotion in alignment with the Truth of Who You Are then love is an emotion you radiate. Love is something you feel and emit when you are in aligment with you. When others behave in a way that is pleasing to you it is easy for you to radiate love, appreciation and other nice feeling emotions. When others behave in ways that are not pleasing it is often more difficult to continue radiating those same nice feeling emotions.
What we want you to understand is anytime you have unpleasant emotions arise it is because in some way your current situation has pulled you off balance such that you yourself are no longer in alignment with your Truth.
Development of compassion is helpful in re-establishing balance in that emotional frequency that you call love.
We will address this in our next writing.
Friend, asker of this extraordinarily fine series of questions, read these answers slowly. Allow them to simmer within you until understanding blossoms.
Received April 17, 2012 at Everett, Washington
Question: I read your channel on compassion and it was just what I needed to hear today.
I have a question for Higgins related to that channel. I’ve
been trying to really take a look at how I view the world
and watch the words that leave my mouth, understanding, as
you have said, that these things shape my experiences. Well,
the more I step back and look at myself, the more I see how
my family has become used to being negative, and that
negative outlook has skewed their vision. At first I thought
it was just my husband as the source of the negativity, but
now I see him as mirror to myself, and we both reflect to
our children.
So now that I have stepped back and have taken a look at my
own habits and have begun to change them, I find it a
challenge to be in my husband’s company. He has the outlook
that he is not appreciated, that he works too hard for no
reward, and he doesn’t have a vision for his future. He
always seems to have a reason why something can’t be done. I
hear these words leave his mouth daily and when I try to
explain to him that we shape our reality, he doesn’t hear
it, and I think he doesn’t want to. I think he wants to hold
onto being a victim, and I am not in that place anymore. The
more I pull away from my husband (because I don’t know what
else to do), the more sullen and angry he becomes, blaming
me for his loneliness and unhappiness. I intend for my
children to see the truth and live in a place of compassion.
With their father as an example of the opposite, I’m not
sure what to do.
So my question is, how do I maintain my viewpoint of
compassion, achieve my dreams, and be a good example for my
children, while living with a man who does not want the
same? How do I love him when I don’t like being around him?
Higgins: There is so much involved in the answer to this question that we will break it down into parts and respond first to the largest question which is: Do you want your marriage to succeed?
We want you to understand that there is a solution for every problem but if you have given up on your marriage no amount of well-intentioned ‘work’ on your part will solve the issues you are facing.
To determine your true response sit quietly and let your mind relax. Listen for your heart response. If your heart finds relief in staying in the marriage (and we believe that it will) then our answer(s) to your question(s) will make sense and you will be able to find solutions that work for you.
The importance of re-determining the level of commitment you have for your marriage is paramount since that commitment is what determines your true intention and desire for the outcome of this entire situation.
Received April 16, 2012 at Lake Goodwin, Washington
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