Emotional Crashes

Posted on September 25, 2012 by Cheryl Jensen

Question:    It seems that when I feel I’m focusing pretty well on the positive and feeling pretty good something always happens to bring me crashing down (emotionally). Why is that?

Higgins:     Envision a piano keyboard. Each key represents a note from low on the far left to high on the far right. Humans are much like a keyboard: they can express a range of emotion from low to high.

Emotions are expressed to the Universe as vibration. In much the same way that a stone tossed into water sends out expanding concentric circles upon the surface of the water each emotion that you experience sends out expanding concentric wave forms into the Universe.

Lower vibrations are slower and tend to not feel very good and higher vibrations are faster and tend to feel positive.

Each of you has the capacity to experience, to feel, each emotional note upon the human keyboard. However, it is very common to develop what we call an emotional set point. By set point we mean an emotion that is easy to reach that is a sort of fall back point.

When you drive down the freeway and see and feel the grooves in the pavement where cars have driven that is what we mean by set point. You’ve driven in this particular emotional spot so much that it has worn a sort of groove and it’s easiest to coast along in that emotional groove than to move either direction for moving out of the groove can be quite bumpy.

When you focus intentionally on the positive you are moving from your set point of something less positive. Unlike a keyboard in which you can touch one key far left and then one key far right emotions cannot be skipped over. You may race through them very quickly from time to time, like dragging the thumbnail over the keyboard from one end to the other but you cannot move the set point by jumping. Each emotion must be acknowledged between your set point and the emotion you’d like to reach and the deeper the groove you’ve worn the more emotionally painful it may be to do that.

That is why it seems that when you are focusing pretty well on the positive and feeling pretty good something happens to bring you crashing down emotionally. You’ve simply expanded too many vibrational/emotional notes beyond your set point.

Much like muscle-building you must make regular effort to achieve goals. Each effort to seek the positive emotions helps move you up the scale a little at a time. Depending upon how entrenched you are in your set point it could take years of practice to move well up the scale. Some people will move easily and quickly up the scale and some will convince themselves they are higher on the scale than they are thus inhibiting their expansion.

Those who over-estimate their emotional set point have the most difficult time moving up emotionally.

The most important thing to note is that while it may take some time to achieve the full benefit of this practice, each time you seek the better feeling you feel better. Feeling better positively reinforces the desire to keep trying. This is important because those down times can be very bitter when you are steadily becoming used to feeling good.

Remember in those down times to allow yourself to feel down. Do not dwell in the down times but do allow yourself to grieve for that acknowledgment of the depth of your emotion is processing time that will assist you in taking your next emotionally forward step.

Received September 25, 2012 at Lake Goodwin, Washington

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Tired of Being Spoken Down To

Posted on September 24, 2012 by Cheryl Jensen

Offering from Higgins:

Many of you are tired of being spoken down to. While you may not like our response to this we assure you that you do have the power to gently but firmly change the way people treat  you.

Interaction between two people is always a combined effort (albeit often unwittingly)between the two, regardless of whether you’ve ever met the other person before or have any understanding of how this could possibly be.

Life experience, including the way others respond to you, is drawn towards you by the vibration you carry. If you present yourself with calm certainty no one will ever speak down to you because you will not be (unwittingly) inviting them to do so.

Calm certainty will not suddenly emanate from you. Calm certainty comes from developing confidence in one’s own self. Each of you is a unique and capable being and there are infinite right ways and no wrong ways to proceed when living your life. When you come to understand that your way is right and that their way is right and that there exists within the Universe room for both you lose the quavering instability that draws negativity from others.

Standing in your confidence never needs anger or harshness for success. Standing in your confidence feels easy and graceful and kind. Developing this self assuredness takes a little time and persistence and we assure you it will be worth the small but continual efforts you exert.

Received September 24, 2012 at Lake Goodwin, Washington

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Why Do People Always Turn Against Me?

Posted on September 23, 2012 by Cheryl Jensen

Question:     Why do people always turn against me?

Higgins:      We want you to recognize that people do not always turn against you. Perhaps people turn against you often but not always. When you set your mind and thoughts in the pattern of anything always being so then you begin turning the forces of the Universe in the same direction. The force that is the Universal flow is infinitely powerful. When you enlist the Universe on your behalf there is very little work to be done for the infinite power of the Universe flows in your direction and carries with it the answer to all your desires.

Whether you are aware of it or not your ‘desires’ are continually transmitted to the Universe and responded to. Always. Every time. No exceptions.

For clarity, let’s call your desires a request. You make a request of the Universe, the Universe responds.

Here’s the catch: requests are sent out to the Universe as vibration (waveform). You cannot cease to send out requests because vibration comes to you in the form of emotion or the way you feel about any given thing. That feeling radiates through you and out into the Universe much the way a stone tossed into water creates ripples along the surface of the water.

Whether the vibration you send out is positive or negative the Universe acknowledges it and responds.

The Universe responds in like kind.

That means the Universe reads you as, “People always turn against me.” The Universe can do no other than respond in like kind and so you will find that people seem to turn against you more and more often.

The next time this occurs acknowledge how uncomfortable and discouraging it is to feel as though others turn against you. As soon as you can, as soon as you are emotionally able, begin to change your offering to the Universe. Decide to choose new descriptive words and allow your thoughts to flow this way:

-People always turn against me! I hate when people turn against me! It makes life so hard!

-Well, maybe they don’t always turn against me. It does seem that they do turn against me often, though.

-One thing’s for sure: I’d like to feel better. I’d like to have people work with me on some things. In fact, someone did recently and it feels so natural to have someone flow with me that I barely recognized that they did. I’d like more experiences like that one.

Now what you have done is acknowledge where you are and used that experience to shift your thoughts to what you would rather have happening in your life. This is all that life experience is about. Life is about contrast. Contrast is desirable so that you can decide what you like and what you don’t like. Then, by turning your thoughts to what you do want, you can energetically enlist the aid of the Universe. The Universe will now do all the hard work and shortly you will notice yourself flowing more harmoniously through life.

Received September 23, 2012 at Lake Goodwin, Washington

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How Do I Nurture Compassion In My Marriage?

Posted on September 22, 2012 by Cheryl Jensen

Question: How do I nurture compassion in my marriage?

Higgins: The simplest way to promote a harmonious relationship of any kind is to spend a moment every day contemplating one thing you genuinely like about the other person. It takes only a few moments of time and stimulates positive Universal flow between the two of you. No amount of ‘working’ on a relationship will do more good than this one simple task.

To specifically nurture compassion in a relationship remind yourself that each of you is the essence of harmony, peace and love itself. Any thoughts, words or behavior expressing anything other than harmony, peace and a deep and abiding appreciation for life simply are expressions of a body/soul out of synch.

It is much easier to  feel compassion for another when you remind yourself how very hard this physical game is…so hard that it can throw the most brilliant and loving of beings into discord.

Received September 22, 2012 at Lake Goodwin, Washington

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Never Work For Pay

Posted on September 18, 2012 by Cheryl Jensen

Offering from Higgins:

Never work for pay. Work instead to make  your heart happy. Let the money follow.

For some of you this will seem radical, as though you must quit your current job immediately. Not so. Start with an attitude shift. Gently peer into your soul and find the beautiful reasons your current job helps create happiness in your life. This will help shift your thought patterns allowing your mind to relax around the topic of work.

Mental relaxation is a most important goal for once you’ve decided what you want in life It (whatever It is) arrives most easily and smoothly when one’s mind is relaxed and content.

With this new clarity on the positive aspects of work and a relaxed mind the Universe will serendipitously open doors to your greater happiness.

Received September 15 and 18, 2012 at Lake Goodwin, Washington

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Likes and Follows

Posted on September 15, 2012 by Cheryl Jensen

We have some new followers and I thank you all very much for like-ing and for following Ask Higgins. Higgins loves questions and questions drive their ever evolving development.

There is no fee or anything like that for our responses, we just love to do this. Feel invited to ask questions of Higgins at cherylorhiggins@hotmail.com.

Blessings everyone,

Cheryl

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Marriages That Just Exist

Posted on September 13, 2012 by Cheryl Jensen

Question: Higgins, will you speak about marriages that just exist? You know, where there seems to be no love left but the couple stays together anyway?

Higgins:

When two come together in marriage there is initially a drawing together. In that initial stage of attraction each of you sees in the other positive qualities and focuses so intently upon the things you like about that person that more of those positive behaviors are exhibited. Further, in that initial stage there is a mutual flow of energy back and forth so that each feels stronger than before two came together.

As time passes two things occur: negative behaviors surface that were not noticed before and one person invariably draws more energy than the other leaving the one drawn from energetically exhausted and resentful yet unaware as to why.

Once one or both of you begin to focus upon negative behaviors then those things are exhibited more frequently.

All relationships can suffer from these two phenomenon, not just marriages.

When two become discontent in this way the closeness leaves and should the two choose to stay in the marriage then that feeling of simply existing may arise. Should you find yourself in this situation there is rather a simple fix. Improvement can occur if only one person focuses upon change although if both participate then it is often easier to make positive change.

First, learn to keep your energy balanced. Physical animation stems primarily from your broader, eternal self. Direct your energy to flow from head to toe, grounding in the Earth. While this is a simplistic view of energy flow it works well to promote understanding. When a person’s energy flows from Source then no other person will be drained by their presence.

Second, choose a marriage that is fulfilling and satisfying. By ‘choose’ we mean to make the decision that a fulfilling and satisfying marriage is for you. This kind of mental leaning is an indicator to the Universe and is very powerful in the creative process.

Relax in your marriage the way it is, with all its warts and difficulties, while continually leaning towards this outcome. Impulses and intuition will lead you towards thought, word and action that will lay a foundation for a fulfilling and satisfying marriage.

Received September 13, 2012 at Lake Goodwin, Washington

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My Husband Isn’t Compassionate

Posted on September 9, 2012 by Cheryl Jensen

Offering from Higgins secondary to a web search that brought a reader to our site. The search was for ‘husband isn’t compassionate’.

Higgins: We do understand why you may feel that your husband isn’t compassionate. A person whom you observe from day-to-day not expressing compassion would easily be viewed as not compassionate. What we’d like to share with you is a different view of the situation.

All of you are beings of light and energy and you communicate with all that exists within the Universe via vibrational offerings. These vibrational offerings can also be called emotions or even feelings. (Emotions and feelings vary but for the purposes of this explanation let’s view them as the same.) Emotions are offered by your Broader eternal self relative to your thoughts, words and actions. There is a range of emotions that can be experienced by a human that ranges from low and slow, like guilt and depression, to light and high, like happiness or immensely satisfied. Compassion is an emotion/feeling on the higher end of the emotional spectrum and there is not one among you who is not capable of experiencing the entire range of emotions including compassion.

Your husband, like you and all other humans, does encompass compassion. His is capable of experiencing and expressing compassion just as he is capable of experiencing and expressing impatience, anger and discouragement.

Your husband is compassion. He just isn’t capable of expressing it right now because it is a vibrational offering higher than he is currently capable of receiving/achieving.

En masse, you physicals have forgotten the rules of the game and that makes Life a very difficult game indeed. If you will gently remind him of his inherent completeness, his inherent power and his inherent ability to create the life of his choice he will sooner or later begin to exhibit the more positive feeling emotions. His behavior will become gentler and kinder because he will come to know that he is in control of his life and that the Universe has designed Earth to support you all in easy, fun abundance.

The trick is: you will likely have very little success if you tell him this directly.

Instead, you must learn to remain centered in his disquiet. You must look for qualities you like in him and focus upon those positives. You must learn, and come to believe, that this life is designed to be fun and easy and that all  you need do is relax and enjoy where you are right now while continuously identifying all the good new things you’d like to experience.

Relax. The better you are able to relax the more OK life will seem to be and as you relax your husband will relax and as he relaxes his compassion will be able to rise to the surface to be expressed.

Received September 9, 2012 at Lake Goodwin, Washington

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I Want My Wife To Stay With Me

Posted on September 4, 2012 by Cheryl Jensen

Offering from Higgins relative to an internet search for ‘I want my wife to stay with me’ that brought a reader to our site.

Higgins prompts me to add that if you want your wife to stay with you read the response entitled ‘My Wife Doesn’t Like Me (a second answer)’ after you read this post.

Higgins:

In the process of creating the life of your dreams, knowing what you want is an important step. We applaud your clarity.

When creating involves another person factors outside yourself come into play, specifically, what she wants is up to her. If she is centered in her own being then what you want should never affect her. Understand, ye, that unless she too wants to stay in the marriage the both of you will have a primarily discordant time together.

We know that when you determine something like ‘I want my wife to stay with me’ that what you also mean is that you want to stay together in harmony and fulfilling contentedness. To that end, determine what it is that you specifically like about marriage. Determine what qualities you like in a life partner. Bring yourself into alignment with those things and you will find yourself in a marriage with a partner who suits you very well indeed. That person may or may not be the wife you are with now but you will be in a marriage that is harmonious and fulfilling.

To come into alignment with your desires first begin by maintaining your own energy. Do that by developing your own energy source. Each of you is animated by a Broader Being. All That Exists is energy and energy flows through you via this connection to Broader. No other person or thing can provide enough energy to fill you. You will always be dissatisfied when you depend upon another for your energy supply.

Practice directing your personal energy to flow harmoniously through you with intention to live your happiest Truth every moment of every day. Direct and re-direct your energy as often as needed. When you carry your energy with this sort of harmony none other can negatively affect your life and likewise you affect none other in a negative way.

You will find yourself feeling better and likely discover that you are easier, smoother, more comfortable to be around when your energy is carried this way.

Received September 4, 2012 at Lake Goodwin, Washington

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My Wife Doesn’t Like Me (a second answer)

Posted on September 3, 2012 by Cheryl Jensen

Offering from Higgins relative to an internet search for, ‘My wife doesn’t like me’, that brought a reader to our site.

Higgins: When faced with a situation like this one, one in which another is offering a vibration of negativity directed towards you, the most obvious and simple solution is to move your physical self away from the negativity.

Each of you is programmed to want to feel good so this is a quick and easy solution to get yourself back into a vibrational place that feels good.

There are myriad reasons, though, that a person would choose to stay within this negative feeling relationship. Should you choose to stay you have two options: find a way to feel better or keep feeling bad. Feeling bad leads to all sorts of negative life expression including ill-health so we strongly recommend finding a way to feel better.

The first process to master is centering yourself each time you feel negativity arising within you. When thinking about your wife’s displeasure of you, center yourself. Each time you feel that ugly negativity oozing from your wife, center yourself.

Centering can be accomplished by simply stating, “I want my energy to stay with me.” Thus your energy will flow within you rather than being given to your wife, who needs to develop her own flow of energy rather than feeding off of your energy.

You will immediately feel a little stronger. When your energy stays within you it takes only a matter of 30-60 seconds before energy is restored and you feel better. Then state, “I want my energy to flow in harmony with my happiest Truth.”

You now have regained control of your own energy and beseeched the Universe to assist you in flowing towards whatever is happy and right for you whether or not you even know what happy and right for you is.

This is a very important step, this regaining of energetic stability, because you now have a palpably greater sense of stability and power. From a centered energetic point you are never a victim and neither your wife or any other can treat you like one when you are stable this way. They may say the same things, they may shoot the same negative energy but your response is steady, strong in self, gently and kindly powerful and you are not affected by another’s negativity the same way as before. Instead you are steady, strong, confident, gentle and possessing a kind and healing sense of humor.

If you feel any sort of negativity you are not centered. Period. Re-center yourself as often as necessary…and that may be hundreds of times a day at the onset.

Once practicing this energetic stability you are in a better emotional space from which to decide whether this relationship with your wife is one you wish to continue. If it is we recommend this simple daily practice: think of one thing that you genuinely like about your wife. Think of one thing about her that you truly appreciate and do it every day for the remainder of your marriage.

These two practices will be all you need to begin drawing from her the things you have always liked in her. Your relationship will improve with no effort on your part other than the effort required to remind oneself to center regularly and to think up something nice about your wife.

There is no need to do work to please your wife and since no amount of effort on your part could ever please a person who is generally displeased this is a good thing.

The next step is to create harmony in your home and you can do that by simply doing one chore a day with the intent to create harmony in your household. You may do a hundred chores a day but do at least one with intent to create harmony. It may be that the dishwasher needs to be unloaded. You don’t want to do it but you know that neither does she. Do it. See a scrap of paper on the floor that shouldn’t be? If it bugs you it will bug her, too, and that is how you know which of that day’s ‘chores’ is the one that will intentionally create the harmony you seek.

So that’s it, Friends, the way to a happy and harmonious relationship.

Received September 3, 2012 at Lake Goodwin, Washington

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