The Kindness Paradigm (6)

Posted on September 4, 2013 by Cheryl Jensen

Developing compassion

Compassion is the pathway to kindness. Compassion is an emotion in the vibrational range of love and deep appreciation. Compassion encompasses the emotion of deep understanding. A person develops compassion by directing their thoughts towards gentle understanding and acceptance of the world around them.

In order to do that we must first consider what humans are. Human beings are eternal beings inhabiting a body on a temporary basis. We are extensions of God. We are on Earth seeking growth. While our range of emotions is broad our true essence rests in love, peace and harmony with love being defined as deep and abiding appreciation.

The way we know this to be true is that when we feel frustration, anger, hatred, guilt, depression, fear or myriad gradations of these emotions we feel bad. When we feel hopeful, uplifted, happy, radiant, joyful or any gradation of these emotions we feel good. Our entire being is geared toward seeking that which feels good.

We must understand that all any of us ever do is seek these good emotions. Anytime we express negative aspects of ourselves or negative behavior all we are really doing is outwardly expressing that we have gotten off track. In the same way that a washing machine will get off-balance and bang around in the spin cycle our negative behaviors are simply us banging around because we’ve gotten out of balance.

With this understanding it is much easier to feel compassion for others. When we are able to hold compassion for ourselves and for others regardless of the situation, what naturally overflows is kindness.

Cheryl Jensen, September 3, 2013, at Lake Goodwin, Washington

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The Kindness Paradigm (5.5)

Posted on September 2, 2013 by Cheryl Jensen

After rereading The Kindness Paradigm (5) on Accepting and Allowing I realize I left some information out…the part about why acceptance and allowance are important.

Refusal to accept and allow all things is futile. Resistance actually makes things worse. Imagine having a tent collapse while you are in it. Struggling won’t help you get out. Relax. Accept the situation and gently find your way out.

Allowing things to be as they are is the equivalent of not struggling. It is non-resistance.

When one person stops struggling, develops compassion and begins making decisions and choices based in kindness they become the embodiment of peace. Every day this one person is directly responding to the world’s violence by not responding to the world’s violence. They are no longer potentiating violence and harshness but instead potentiate peace and cooperation by living in harmony with their surroundings whatever those surroundings may contain.

Cheryl Jensen, September 2, 2013, at Lake Goodwin, Washington

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The Kindness Paradigm (5)

Posted on September 1, 2013 by Cheryl Jensen

It’s been a while since I posted on The Kindness Paradigm so let’s go back and review what we’re up to:

The Kindness Paradigm is based on the belief that there are certain desires ubiquitous to all mankind yet recognizes that the achievement of those desires will look different to each individual; it is a vision of a way of living in which happiness is the driving force and decisions are based on kindness; it is a vision of life in which enthusiasm for the life one leads is of paramount importance and the importance of achieving one’s individual desires is understood and supported by all.

We needed a bridge to get from where we are to where we want to go and I suggested the bridge looked like this:

Relax within your life as it is right now, with all its warts and strange beautiful things; practice allowing and accepting everything just as it is with no changes whatsoever; develop compassion for yourselves and others, knowing that the game of life is challenging and complex; from compassion, kindness will overflow; that kindness will spring forth in all sorts of ways that nurture the human spirit.

Today I wish to move on to how to become allowing and accepting.

Merriam Webster defines the word ‘accept’ several ways but the number one definition for the word accept is to receive willingly. That is the definition we will use because to achieve our goal of living life in a Kindness Paradigm we must accept willingly that which presents before us and allow it to exist.

When you allow another person to live their life as they choose without encouraging them or expecting them or even hoping for them to be or act a certain way you allow them. Allowing is a scary concept for some because it means saying yes to things you do not like, agree with or want in your life. Frankly, it means saying yes to things you do not want to exist in the world. However, the Kindness Paradigm is not about what anyone else is doing. The Kindness Paradigm is about you. It is about each individual choosing a life of kindness for themselves and simultaneously allowing every other individual the dignity to make their own choices, whatever they may be.

The way to become allowing and accepting is to practice. Practice saying yes, practice seeing beauty in the ugly things. Developing compassion will make accepting and allowing others to be as they are much easier. We will explore the development of compassion next.

Cheryl Jensen, September 1, 2013, Lake Goodwin, Washington, USA

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Why Does This Person Cause Me to Lighten Up Inside? (Part 4 of 4)

Posted on September 1, 2013 by Cheryl Jensen

A continuing conversation:

This same person that I get lighten up by now is the same one that I got lighten
up in the past. BUT the first time was before my depression and mental
illness happened. I started to ignore that lightening up inside and thought
nahh to unrealistic or maybe im putting my will onto God’s Will instead of
allowing His Will to be on top of me. So I put that aside and later is when
depression and mental disease came in. Any advice or further wisdom into
this would be so much appreciated.

Higgins:

We are well pleased that you have come to ask this question. This response is the most important segment of our response to your question as a whole.

Each of you is guided by inner knowing. You receive impulses, intuition and emotion. These things guide you through your life experience much the way one may control a toy car by remote control. The difference is that while the toy car must do exactly as guided each of you has a choice to follow or not follow these instincts. When the asker of this question ‘started to ignore that lightening up inside and thought nahh to unrealistic’ what they effectively did was ignore the guidance of their Eternal Spirit.

We don’t usually use the word ‘will’ relative to that which you call God. However, what you refer to as God’s will is experienced by humans as emotion. When you feel good or light inside then that is what God want’s for you. It was God’s intention that you would follow positive emotion and move away, even run away from those things that produce negative emotion.

God does not usually give you those feelings directly. They primarily come from your Eternal Spirit. We sometimes call this the Broader Self or Broader Being. Regardless of what it is called this Eternal You is old and wise and knows exactly what you wanted for yourself in this lifetime and knows exactly how to respond to every situation you may encounter and via emotions (and sometimes intuition or inspiration) guides you towards a wonderful life that includes prosperity and good health.

This is kind of like a game of Hot and Cold. You follow positive emotion and move away, even run away from those things that make you feel bad.

The human body houses you. You are not your body. In the same way a home that is not maintained begins to fall apart so too your body develops illness and ‘falls apart’ when you do not take care of it. There is a certain amount of grooming, feeding, exercising and so on that needs to be done but the care we are speaking of is all about these emotions we’ve been discussing. If you will consistently over time ignore your emotions you will develop illness. Illness may be physical or mental or both. That is what happened to the asker of this questions. They chose to ignore the positive emotion (not understanding what positive emotions mean) which can only lead to ever-increasing unhappiness and eventually dis-ease.

The good news is all dis-ease is reversible. As the asker once again begins to respond to positive and negative emotions their life will become happier, they will prosper and their health will improve. It may take a while, it took awhile to get where they are now, but life will improve. Perhaps fitfully at first but it will improve.

Negative life experience, while uncomfortable, does provide very important information. A person who has experienced hell in this lifetime knows more clearly than any other how strongly they desire a satisfying life. This clarity then helps them profoundly when they begin to follow those good feelings. Once you get the hang of going towards what feels good you will find very little tolerance for negativity.

The simple directions are: good feels good and bad feels bad. Always do your best to follow what feels good. Sometimes you will have to pick the least worst. That doesn’t matter. Just get started making choices that bring relief.

Be gentle with yourselves, Friends. Life is the Game of Masters. You would not be here if you did not possess the skills required to play but in this time/space scenario change is sometimes a little slow to arrive. Gently and persistently follow lightness in your heart every time it arrives. That’s what it takes to create a fulfilling and satisfying life.

Received September 1, 2013 at Lake Goodwin, Washington, USA

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I Am A Powerful Magnet Attracting Good Things

Posted on August 31, 2013 by Cheryl Jensen

Higgins:

Repeat: I am a powerful magnet attracting good things.

Received August 31, 2013 at Lake Goodwin, Washington

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Why Does This Person Cause Me to Lighten Up Inside? (Part 3)

Posted on August 29, 2013 by Cheryl Jensen

This is a continuing conversation…

Question:

I have a question about the whole being lighten up inside. (…) But recently I
get lighten up by a person and no one really does that for by that one
person. And its not like an infatuation. This is from my gut, spirit area
and its like someone awakened me. Like I come alive inside and feel truly
alive. It is something that is hard to explain on how it feels. It is just
purely AMAZING though.

Higgins:

We are pleased that you recognize this is neither infatuation nor the beginnings of love. What is happening is this person awakens in you what you are. Another way to look at this is that person is a reflection of a part of yourself that has been buried for a while, a wonderful part of yourself. You recognize your own magnificence in them and that is what feels so amazing.

Received August 29, 2013 at Lake Goodwin, Washington

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Why Does This Person Cause Me to Lighten Up Inside? (Part 2)

Posted on August 28, 2013 by Cheryl Jensen

This is a continuation from a question asked August 26, 2013. The portion of the question we will respond to today is:  I dont normally light up much at all. Been through a lot of depression and mental disease or illness. A lot of hell and pain and suffering.

Higgins:

Prior to birth each of you makes plans for your life on Earth. These plans are  sort of broad such as planning to be a person who uplifts others. Narrower plans may also be made such as planning to express yourself with the body (think of ballet dancers) or via music (think of musicians and singers).

Your Broader Being holds this vision for you while you navigate the physical realm. When you get close to something that is part of your plan you feel more alive.

Envision a pinball machine. When the ball bumps into the target the target lights up and bells ding. Think of yourself as a target and when information bumps into you that is equal to the desires your Broader Being holds for you about this life you light up.

There is a plethora of information assaulting each of you every moment of the day. Information comes to you visually, audibly, sensibly. Additionally, information bombards you via waves that are similar to sound waves. Usually, you do not see them or hear them but whether or not you are consciously aware you are subconsciously aware of all this information as it flows past you.

What will help the asker of this question is to learn to tune into that which interests you and is compatible with your heart’s happiness. This is rather like tuning in the radio station you prefer. It does take practice and focus to see the flower growing in the gutter and ignore the disease, decay and destruction surrounding it but that is what you must learn to do. You must intentionally choose to connect with the most beautiful aspect of every moment of your life.

For a person with a history of mental illness tuning into the most beautiful of the abundant information is sort of like telling a person with heart disease to begin a gentle exercise regimen or a diabetic to make achievable changes to their diet. It takes time and practice but the difference it will make in your life will astound you. Remember to make this a gentle practice, a little at a time, just a little at a time.

As you do this your heart which has felt closed for so long will begin to flutter a little here and a little there and suddenly one day you will bump into that which jumpstarts your heart and you will live again.

Received August 28, 2013 at Lake Goodwin, USA

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Why Does This Person Cause Me to Lighten Up Inside? (Part 1)

Posted on August 26, 2013 by Cheryl Jensen

Question:

I have a question about the whole being lighten up inside. What happens
when you are lighten up by a someone and not by a something. What I mean is
by another person and not by a certain talent or skill per say. I dont
normally light up much at all. Been through a lot of depression and mental
disease or illness. A lot of hell and pain and suffering. But recently I
get lighten up by a person and no one really does that for by that one
person. And its not like an infatuation. This is from my gut, spirit area
and its like someone awakened me. Like I come alive inside and feel truly
alive. It is something that is hard to explain on how it feels. It is just
purely AMAZING though. Now this has happened before a long time ago. This
same person that I get lighten up by now is the same one that I got lighten
up in the past. BUT the first time was before my depression and mental
illness happened. I started to ignore that lightening up inside and thought
nahh to unrealistic or maybe im putting my will onto God’s Will instead of
allowing His Will to be on top of me. So I put that aside and later is when
depression and mental disease came in. Any advice or further wisdom into
this would be so much appreciated.

Higgins:

This is a many faceted question. We will answer it in segments.

First part : What happens when you are lighten up by a someone and not by a something. What I mean is by another person and not by a certain talent or skill per say.

Answer: When another person causes you to come alive, to feel light in heart, to glow this means that person exhibits qualities and/or emits an essence that resonates with you on a deep level.

Your Broader Self continuously communicates with you via emotions. The Broader Being continually (and without end until the day you depart this physical realm) reminds you of who you are relative to your current thoughts, words and actions. When you feel wonderful your Broader Being is informing you that whatever you are thinking, saying or doing is right in line with the Truth of Who You Really Are. When you feel fearful, anxious or depressed (anything other than wonderful) your Broader Being is informing you that in this current moment you are not expressing the Truth of the Beauty of Your True Being.

Each of you is a magnificent work of art. What is happening when you are around this person is that you see and sense your own magnificence in this person. Then, as you feel uplifted by their radiance, your Broader Self agrees with you (because you are equally as magnificent as this person) and fills you will this sense of lightening up inside.

The key here is that when you feel really positive and uplifted about something then it is equal to the Truth of Who You Are and when you feel really negative and down about something then it is opposite to the Truth of Who You Are.

Your goal in the physical realm is to reflect the Truth of Who You Are (magnificence in physical form).

Absorb this and we will answer more later.

Received August 26, 2013 at Lake Goodwin, Washington, USA

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The Kindness Paradigm (4)

Posted on August 17, 2013 by Cheryl Jensen

Relax

Keep in mind that the goal of the Kindness Paradigm is to develop in each of us an understanding of what makes us feel most alive. Then, when we find what makes us feel most alive we want to help one another pursue whatever it is. Why is that our goal? Because it is the pursuit and achievement of those things that make us feel alive that makes us feel happy and provide us with a sense of well-being.

The first step on the bridge from here to there is to relax.

Each time you clench up inside, the way you do when jealousy, indecision, anger or fear strikes, a barrier is effectively erected between you and your natural well-being. Relaxing will help you come to peace with what is.

A marvelous visualization for learning to relax is that of learning to water ski. Envision yourself in the water behind a ski boat. You are floating easily in a life vest. There are two long skis strapped to you, one on each foot. Try as you will you simply cannot pull those skis into alignment and trying to do so is painful. In fact, the more you struggle and work to straighten those skis the more it hurts.

The water itself grips those skis and pulls one leg this way and the other that way and there may seemingly be no way to get those skis positioned. That is, until your friends in the boat call out, “Relax! The skis will float into place the moment you quit struggling!”

It seems incomprehensible yet you allow yourself to do nothing. Every muscle relaxes and your life vest does keep your head comfortably above water and impossibly, the skis do immediately float into position.

That is what you are trying to achieve: total relaxation. When you relax and quit struggling life aligns swiftly and easily and better yet, it will quit hurting.

A good way to relax is to play. Play is refreshing. There is nothing quite like it to relax both mind and body. Sand, water, balls and bicycles are still fun. You will sleep better, feel better and enjoy life more when you establish a regular rhythm of play time.

Once relaxed, the mind then has the opportunity to receive inspiration. In this way, you literally relax into positive thought and action which will lead straight into your own well-being.

Cheryl Jensen, August 17, 2013, Lake Goodwin, Washington, USA

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The Kindness Paradigm (3)

Posted on August 14, 2013 by Cheryl Jensen

A Bridge From Here to There

The Kindness Paradigm is based on the belief that there are certain desires that are ubiquitous to all mankind yet it is expected that the achievement of those desires will look different to every individual. The desires are: to feel safe and secure and free to follow one’s heart’s desires; to thrive both physically and mentally; to experience and maintain relationships that are satisfying and fulfilling; to prosper; to feel satisfied and fulfilled.

The pursuit and achievement of these desires is what produces inner happiness and every person has a right to pursue their own heart’s desires…even when we don’t want them to want what they want. So how can a planet full of people, whose personal versions of these desires look so vastly different, get along well enough to allow each to follow their own dream? And moreover, help them find their dream (the very one we may not want them to have), help them find it and pursue it?

What we need is a bridge from here to there.

I asked Higgins a few months ago to help me vision a Kindness Paradigm. They said (in part):

“From our perspective a Kindness Paradigm for life on Earth is one in which each of you commit words and actions from kindness, kindness being defined as arising from the understanding that what affects one affects another thus nurturing a desire to create harmony through positive word and action.”

They went on to say:

“A Kindness Paradigm offers a format for societal structure that nurtures the individual…every individual. Every individual, properly nurtured, will grow to be something positive.
Think of a flower garden. Regardless of the species of plant chosen it needs space to thrive, temperatures neither too hot nor too cold, too wet nor too dry, neither shall it be too windy. Given proper nutrition and attention each plant within a garden grows to be a lush representation of whatever it is and whatever it is adds to the loveliness of the overall picture. The garden as a whole is less for each plant that fails to thrive.

A Kindness Paradigm for life would offer each individual the nurturing required to thrive. Right now, we see most of you simply existing within a framework that is ill-fitting (your current paradigm) and chafes the human spirit the same way an ill-fitting shoe chafes the foot.”

(That was posted April 10, 2013 if you wish to go back and read the entire post.)

The bridge we seek helps us learn to nurture one another. One possibility looks like this: Relax within your life as it is right now, with all its warts and strange beautiful things; practice allowing and accepting everything just as it is with no changes whatsoever; develop compassion for yourselves and others, the game of life is challenging and complex; from compassion, kindness will overflow; that kindness will spring forth in all sorts of ways that nurture the human spirit.

Cheryl Jensen, August 14, 2013, at Lake Goodwin, Washington, USA

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